WELCOME to Thursday, January 15, 2015.
Perspectives on Aging……
“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”
“It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.”
Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, … it doesn’t matter.
Age only matters if you’re cheese.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway; the good fortune to run into the ones I do; and the eyesight to tell the difference!
He who laughs, lasts.
I’ve gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before
I can ask where I left my glasses.
I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right
places.
Middle age is when you burn the midnight oil around 9:00 PM.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.
The big thing today is computer dating. If you don’t know how to run a computer it really dates you.
The golden years: When actions creak louder than words.
There’s nothing wrong with the younger generation that twenty years or so won’t cure.
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Relationships are hard. It’s like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.” * Bob Ettinger
“My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.” * Paula Poundstone
” A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Uh, duh!” * Conan O’Brien
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my Goodness. . I could be eating a slow learner.” * Lynda Montgomery
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Back in the 1800’s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression; “He who has a Tates is lost!”
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I need to have an outer-body experience.’
Answer: The Frighteners! Said by Frank (played by Michael J. Fox) in Peter Jackson’s movie.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I do not fear them.’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Decode this well known nursery rhyme if you can: A small number of child laborers were attempting to traverse a more elevated position in a vain attempt to procure a quarter of a rundlet of a hydrogen and oxygen compound. Half their number experienced an uncontrollable descent that resulted in severe damage to the pate. And soon it came to pass that the rest of the labor force followed suit, but with far less serious consequences.
ANSWER: Jack and Jill Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down And broke his Crown And Jill came tumbling after.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with a letter deleted (example: brand & band). The length of the first word in each pair is provided, along with the position of the deleted letter to obtain the second word.
1) a storage room (6 letters) & (delete 6th letter) near
2) to genuflect (5 letters) & (delete 2nd letter) to capsize
3) the teaching staff (7 letters) & (delete 3rd letter) having imperfections
4) the moment in which something occurs (4 letters) & (delete 3rd letter) to bind
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIOUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND MS. KIM HILLYARD! INCREDIBLE SOLVING JOB LADIES! 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. 
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