by eucman

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, February 27, 2015.  

You Know You’re Too Stressed If…
 
You can achieve a “Runner’s High” by sitting up. 
 
The Sun is too loud. 
 
Trees begin to chase you. 
 
You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso. 
 
You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. 
 
You can hear mimes. 
 
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. 
 
You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly. 
 
Things become “Very Clear.” 
 
You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go. 
 
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. 
 
You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chanelers can understand. 
 
The less sense matter and matter is more than sense. 
 
You and Reality file for divorce. 
 
You can skip without a rope. 
 
It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code. 
 
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. 
 
You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe and Everything else, but can’t quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before. 
 
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. 
 
You can travel without moving. Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition. 
 
You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies. 
 
Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend. 
 
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. 
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like

Norman Einstein.” Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996

“You guys line up alphabetically by height.”Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

“You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

“I play football. I’m not trying to be a professor. The tests don’t seem to make sense to me, measuring your

brain on stuff I haven’t been through in school.” Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman

because of academic requirements.

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: “Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.”

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: “That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my #%@# clothes.”

Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.” Emoji

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a

new set of Woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time – more than half expecting he’d come in and demand his money back.  But the next time he came in, he was all smiles.

“They’re the best clubs I’ve ever had,” he said. “In fact, I’ve discovered I can throw them at least 40 yards

farther than I could my last ones.” 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “In my home! In my bedroom where my wife sleeps! Where my children come and play with their toys. In my home.”

Answer: Godfather Part II! Of course, said by Michael after the attempted hit at home. 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “What am I gonna say? ‘I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How’ve you been?'”

TODAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA DIVA AWARD GOES TO MS. VALERIE JOYNER! NICE WORK VALERIE! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Jon and Bob were betting on a baseball game and Bob lost. To get back at him he bets Jon.

Bob says, “I bet you I can do two to three thousand push-ups in 10 minutes.” 

Jon says, “Fine, let’s see it. You couldn’t possibly win that bet.” 

Bob won the bet. How is that possible?

ANSWER: He did two push-ups, since it is worded that he can do 2 – 3000, but Jon thought it was 2000 – 3000.

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

Below are incomplete words. Place three letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

i (_ _ _) lar

lat (_ _ _) ror

phan (_ _ _) atoe

indica (_ _ _) toise

sc (_ _ _) na

thr (_ _ _) egal

 
  
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE WEEK AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS! 
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

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