by eucman

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, March 27, 2015.    

Riddles……………….really!
How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.
How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.
How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.
How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware.
What bird can lift the most?
A crane.
What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.
What can you hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.
What clothes does a house wear?
Address.
What country makes you shiver?
Chile.
What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I’m coming down with something!
What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.
What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
It’s time to go to sweep.
What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I’ll hang around for a while.
What did the rug say to the floor?
Don’t move, I’ve got you covered.
What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
What do you call a calf after it’s six months old?
Seven months old.
What do you call a guy who’s born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
Dead.
Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?
His powder puff is on the wrong end.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
She couldn’t control her pupils.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! I know because somewhere, somebody is laughing!  Have a great weekend people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. — Douglas Adams

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. — Agatha Christie

Always remember that true beauty comes from within from within bottles, jars, compacts, and tubes. — Peter’s Almanac

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. — Ralph Bus

Committee – a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. — M. Berle

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

 The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased. 

A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town’s people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting… “Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch…”

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly the hypnotist’s fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor…

“Crap” said the hypnotist. It took three weeks to clean up the town hall. 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I woke up this morning and just hated everything.”  

Answer: Tomb Raider! Lara, played by Angelina Jolie, said this to the mail man when he stared at her ruined house. It was ruined because a team of masked men broke in to steal the “clock” and shot the inside of her house up. 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “They say most of your brain shuts down in cryo-sleep. All but the primitive side, the animal side. No wonder I’m still awake.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

This teaser is in honor of man’s quest to quench his thirst with non-alcoholic beverages. Can you figure out what drinks are depicted below?
 
1. Joint between thigh and lower leg + having great elevation + yielding readily to pressure + swallowing liquid contents.
 
2. A practitioner of medicine + spicy hot pod like fruit that grows on plants.
 
3. Dried and powdered rhizome used as spice + another name for beer.
 
4. Underground portion of a plant + another name for ale.
 
5. A natural elevation of the earth’s surface having considerable mass and a height greater than that of a hill + water droplets condensed from the air.
 
6. A powder made from cacao seeds + tropical African evergreen plant having reddish fragrant nutlike seeds.
 
ANSWER:  1. Nehi Soft Drink. (Knee + high + soft + drink.)  2. Dr Pepper. (Doctor + pepper.)  3. Ginger Ale. (Ginger + ale.) 
4. Root Beer. (Root + beer.)  5. Mountain Dew. (Mountain + Dew.)  6. Coca-Cola. (Cocoa + Kola.)
 

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

A man wanted to encrypt his password but he needed to do it in a way so that he could remember it. His password is 7 characters long. The password consists of letters and numbers only (no symbols like ! or <). In order to remember it he wrote down “You force heaven to be empty.” Can you guess what his password is?
 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR LEGACY GENIUS MR. STEVE SCHICK AND OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING THURSDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! BRILLIANT MIND WORK PEOPLE! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

  

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