by eucman

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, April 14, 2015.   

Tuesday’s Pondering……..   
How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
Why is the Lone Ranger called ‘Lone’ if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
What was Captain Hook’s name before he got the hook?
How fast do hotcakes sell?
Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They’re going to see you without your clothes on anyway.
Where does the toe tag go on a dead person if they don’t have toes?
If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony?
Why do people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every few hours?
Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says “Not available in all states”?
If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin?
If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and you are the main witness, what if you say “no”?
Do they bury people with their braces on?
How far east can you go before you’re heading west?
How does a real estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out
of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?
Do prison buses have emergency exits?
Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?
When lightning strikes the ocean, why don’t all the fish die?
When two men get married to each other, do they both go to the same bachelor party?
If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack, should they save him?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
Who was Sadie Hawkins?
Why do we sing “Rock a bye baby” to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree
and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?
When crazy people walk through the forest, do they take the psycho path?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! I know because somewhere, somebody is laughing!  Have a great Tuesday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“The handwritten lyrics to Don McLean’s classic song ‘American Pie’ were auctioned off yesterday and sold for $1.2 million. In fact, McLean already has dubbed April 7 ‘the Day the Music Paid for my Boat.'” –Jimmy Fallon

“McDonald’s has announced plans to unveil even larger hamburgers. They also announced plans to widen their doors and reinforce the floors.” -Conan O’Brien

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie today appeared on a talk show called ‘Pasta and Politics.’ It went so well that he’s agreed to go on ‘Meet the Garlic Press.'” -Seth Meyers

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

No one is more cautious than a first-time parent. After our daughter was big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet. 

The day of the first ride I put her in the seat, double-checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my leg up over the crossbar, accidentally kicked her right in the chin. 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘‘Well hell, son, I do believe he’s harassing you already.’

Answer: ‘Space Cowboys’! Tommy Lee Jones said this in ‘Space Cowboys’ when a biker told Clint Eastwood to stop harassing the waitress and if he wanted to harass someone, harass him.  

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘These are broken. Mine are broken.’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

What 5 chemical elements make chocolate?
 
ANSWER: Carbon (C)  Holmium (Ho)  Cobalt (Co)  Lanthanum (La)  Tellurium (Te)   Together they make chocolate (C Ho Co La Te)  

Tuesday’s  Quizzler is……….

Using a combination of letters and/or numbers to sound out the answers, can you solve the clues? (The first one is free)
1. Not difficult – EZ (Easy)
2. Unoccupied
3. To do better than others
4. Defeated
5. A number (use only letters for this one)
6. A sport
7. Freezing
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

  
 

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