WELCOME to Tuesday, September 15, 2015.   

Before and After You Fall in Love…………..

Before	After
“You take my breath away.”	“I feel like I’m suffocating.”
Twice a night.	Twice a month.
“She loves the way I take control of a situation.”	“She calls me a controlling and manipulative.”
Ricky & Lucy	Fred & Ethel
Saturday Night Live	Monday Night Football
“He makes me feel like a million dollars.”	“If I had a dime for every stupid thing he’s done.”
“Don’t stop.”	“Don’t start.”
The Sound of Music.	The Sound of Silence.
“Is that all you are eating?”	“Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.”
It’s like living a dream.	It’s a nightmare.
$60/dozen.	$1.50/stem.
Turbo-charged.	Needs a jump-start.
“We agree on everything.”	“Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?”
Victoria’s Secret.	Fruit of the Loom.
Feathers and handcuffs.	Ball and chain.
Idol.	Idle.
“He’s lost without me.”	“Why can’t he ask for directions?”
“When we’re together, time stands still.”	“This relationship is going nowhere.”
Croissant and cappuccino.	Bagels and instant coffee.
Oysters.	Fishsticks.
“I can hardly believe we found each other.”	“How the hell did I end up with someone like you?”

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY    

“The U.S. Surgeon General released a statement this week that said more Americans should start going on walks. Then to everyone’s surprise, he added, ‘Even if you’re just going out to have a smoke. Just stand up for once.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“There was another big announcement from Apple today–a number of exciting new products for you to lose in a cab on the way to the airport.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A skydiver uploaded a video of himself yesterday jumping out of a plane and solving a Rubik’s cube during free fall. And to prove that he actually solved it, the funeral was open casket.” -Seth Meyers 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

My cousin, a perpetual bachelor, owned one of the biggest and fastest-growing businesses in Miami, a furniture store. I convinced him that he needed to take a trip to Italy to visit a manufacturer and check out the merchandise himself. And maybe he could meet an available young Italian women.

As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance with a beautiful young lady. She only spoke Italian and he only spoke English–neither understood a word the other spoke. So he took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a taxi. She smiled, nodded her head and they went for a ride in the park. Later, he drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded. So they went to dinner.

After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted. They went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening. It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

He was dumbfounded. To this day he says that he’s never been able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.  

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I can shoot straight, if I don’t have to shoot very far.’ 

Answer: Gone with the Wind! Scarlett, to an amused Rhett Butler.  

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Eating greens is a special treat. It makes long ears and great big feet.’ But it sure is awful stuff to eat. I made that last part up myself.’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you name the salad veggies? Use synonyms of each word in the clue; put them together to sound out the answer.

EG. Clue: Dog Bloom

Answer: Cauliflower

Explanation: “Collie” “Flower”

1. Caution Groove

2. Rotate Bite

3. Fish-egg Hair

4. Allow We

5. Twirl Scratch

6. Taxi Shift

7. Animal-park Crucial Leg-joint

8. Signal Burden

9. Awesome Plate

10. Invigorate Each

Bonus: 

-Room Jumble

-Compel Whip

-Not Age   

ANSWER:  1. Carrot (Care-rut)  2. Turnip (Turn-nip)  3. Romaine (Roe-mane)  4. Lettuce (Let-us)  5. Spinach (Spin-itch) 6. Cabbage (Cab-budge)  7. Zucchini (Zoo-key-knee)  8. Cucumber (Cue-cumber)  9. Radish (Rad-dish)  10. Pepper (Pep-per)

Bonus:

-Celery (Cell-lurry)

-Garlic (Gar-lick)

-Onion (Un-eon)

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

WHAT DOES THIS EQUAL?

12=DD + 11=PP + 10=LL + 9=LD + 8=MM + 7=SS + 6=GL + 5=GR + 4=CB + 3=FH + 2=TD + 1=PPT = ?

  

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.