THE AGING PROCESS…

6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

It’s tougher to lose weight, because over time your body and your fat are really good friends.

A ‘late night’ now ends at 11 pm.

About half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For fast relief”.

All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

It takes twice as long to look half as good.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.

People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”

Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

The candles cost more than the cake.

The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.

The clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style… have come back in style.

The end of your tie doesn’t come anywhere near the top of your pants.

The highway patrol sigh or shake their heads but don’t give you a ticket.

The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

You and your teeth don’t sleep together.

You answer a question with “Because I said so!”

You are proud of your lawn mower.

You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”

You buy trousers with the waist size larger than the length.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….     

“According to a new study, there have been more deaths this year from selfie-related incidents than there have been from shark attacks. Good.” -Seth Meyers 

“Bud Light has created a new device that alerts you when the beer supply in your fridge is running low. The device is known as your roommate Chad.” -Conan O’Brien

“There’s been a lot of discussion lately about comfort animals. A few months ago, a woman on a US Airways flight was kicked off the plane when her emotional support pig refused to stop squealing and defecated in the cabin. The truth is, they already make a pig that comforts you. It’s called bacon.” -James Corden   

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I have my changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.  

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Do you know you have incredible bone structure?’  

Answer: This Year’s Love! A great British dark comedy with Dougray Scott speaking this line. 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Yeah, well at least I’m not ugly!’ 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Find a rhyme for each word below so you end up with a familiar three-word phrase in the form “__, __, and __” 

Example: 

Clue = “Took, Sign, Blinker”

Answer = “Hook, Line, and Sinker”

1. Flop, Crook, Glisten

2. Pin, Brace, Though

3. Versed, Beckoned, Heard

4. Leg, Sorrow, Wheel

5. Bawl, Park, Ransom

6. Sprawl, Tedium, Barge

7. Trap, Shackle, Top

ANSWER:  1. Stop, Look, and Listen

2. Win, Place, and Show

3. First, Second, and Third

4. Beg, Borrow, and Steal

5. Tall, Dark, and Handsome

6. Small, Medium, and Large

7. Snap, Crackle, and Pop 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

What is represented here?

Spring – Hola

Summer – Bonjour

Fall – Hello

Winter – Aloha

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE WORK BANKS! 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.