Capricious Thoughts About Marriage……..
MARRIAGE: It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelors degree and a woman gains her masters
TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.
FATHER: A banker provided by nature.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes.
CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read.
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES….
“Experts in Israel are trying to re-create a wine used in the time of Jesus. Apparently, all they need is some water and Jesus.” -Conan O’Brien
“Amazon just unveiled new prototype drones for its Prime Air delivery service, and it said it hopes to deliver packages in under 30 minutes. Then people waiting to depart from LaGuardia were like, ‘How much weight can they hold? I’ll try it.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Some parenting experts are suggesting that the holiday tradition of the elf on the shelf may actually be harmful to children. So instead just take them to the mall and let them sit on a weird old dude’s lap.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at an academic function, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”
“Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.”
“What sort of question?”
“Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'”
The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Lieutenant. The feeling is mutual.’
Answer: The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! Great trilogy of pointless comedy.
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???. ‘You just fulfilled the first rule of law enforcement: make sure when your shift is over you go home alive. Here endeth the lesson.’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this common phrase?
Salt: Good morning
Pepper: Hello
ANSWER: Season’s Greetings
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
There are three houses built exactly the same. One is filled with cotton, the other with wood, and the third with iron. One day an arsonist sets them all on fire. The sound of sirens was growing louder at the scene. People were screaming. Which house did the ambulance try to put the fire out at first?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 