by eucman

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, December 11, 2015.    

Quirky Logic…..
The English language is made for humor.  It has absorbed words from many other cultures, thus as scope for ambiguity, which is the mother of wit.  English grammar has a looseness that German, Greek and Italian just don’t tolerate, thus supplying more opportunities for misunderstanding and mirth.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
Incidentally, there are no hogs in Hogmanay.
When you are incommunicado: you are without the means to communicate.
The Turkey is native, to America and is named for its resemblance to a bird native to Africa.
Madison Square Garden, USA is not square (nor is it a garden).
If lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen defrocked, does it not follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged , models deposed, or drycleaners depressed?
Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted.
Even more, bed makers could be debunked, baseball players debased, landscapers deflowered, software engineers detested, underwear manufacturers debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“A dog in Seattle is making news after commuters noticed it had been riding the bus to a local park all by itself. Everyone says the dog is amazing, while the dog said, panicking, ‘I gotta find that blind guy. I’m in a lot of trouble if I don’t find him.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn’t sound too bad to me. You’d probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Police are looking for a woman who stole $3,000 worth of cat-grooming supplies at an airport baggage carousel. Police describe the suspect as ‘single.'” -Seth Meyers 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from Teterboro airport in New Jersey.

I knew that I would be flying in a very small plane, so I was not surprised when the clerk said, “The plane is very full with baggage and passengers.” Then she asked, “How much do you weigh, sir?”

Not thinking clearly I answered, “With or without clothes?”

“Well,” said the clerk, “how do you intend to travel?”Emoji 

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  ‘You just fulfilled the first rule of law enforcement: make sure when your shift is over you go home alive. Here endeth the lesson.’   

Answer: The Untouchables! Awesome prohibition-time movie.  

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???. ‘You find me degenerate–or worse even, French.’

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

There are three houses built exactly the same. One is filled with cotton, the other with wood, and the third with iron. One day an arsonist sets them all on fire. The sound of sirens was growing louder at the scene. People were screaming. Which house did the ambulance try to put the fire out at first? 

ANSWER: Ambulances do not put out fires. 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

I can be as blue as the sky or have a white top.

I roll through my world and crash into yours.

I can be as gentle as a newborn puppy or as vicious as an angered bull, ripping through anything I find.

I will topple anything you put in my way if I am strong enough.

What am I?

    
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE WORK BANKS!
 EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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