WELCOME to Monday, February 1, 2016.      

Silly Dictionary……..

Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at

McDonald’s.

Avoidable \uh-avoy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.

Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse \i-klips’\: What an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes \hee’-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: What the robber did after his bag was full of loot.

Misty \miss’-tee\: How golfers create divots.

Paradox \par’-of-docks\: Two physicians.

Parasites \par’-uh-sites\: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm.

Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: What penguins see with.

Primate \pri’-mate\: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

Relief \ree-leaf’\: What trees do in the spring.

Rubberneck \rub’-er-nek\: What you do to relax your wife.

Seamstress \seem’-stress\: Describes 250 pounds in a size six.

Selfish \sel’-fish\: What the owner of a seafood store does.

Subdued \some-dood’\: Like, a guy, like, who works on one of those, like, submarines, man.

Sudafed \soo’-da-fed\: Bringing litigation against a government official.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“A matador in Spain is under investigation after a video surfaced of him bullfighting while holding his 5-month-old baby girl in his arms. But to be fair, it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day.” -Seth Meyers

“Gisele Bundchen shared a picture of Tom Brady after he lost the NFL playoffs. It was a heartbreaking photograph of a handsome millionaire being consoled by a Brazilian supermodel.” -Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump announced that he’s not going to participate in the Fox News debate tomorrow night. The other candidates are really excited to present their views in a serious, yet respectful manner – which means they haven’t been told that nobody is going to watch this one.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The banana loaf I was making was in the oven when my 16-year-old came into the kitchen where the family had gathered.

“That bread smells about done don’t you think, Mom?” he asked.

I told him I had set the timer and it still had five minutes.

A little later he repeated his suggestion. “Mom, I really think that loaf is done. Maybe you should check it.”

Always quick to come to my defense, my 13-year-old son said, “Eddie, Mom’s been burning that banana bread for 20 years now. I think she knows when to take it out.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘If bachelorette number one isn’t out here in half a tick I’m gonna ice bachelorette number two, got it?’  

Answer: Night of the Comet! Willy said it.  

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Eat something, I’m begging you! You look like a swizzle stick.’

Replace each word or words in parentheses with a one-word synonym to decipher a common phrase.

1. (Similar to) (male parent), (relating to) (male child).

2. (Everything) that (sparkles) is not (Au).

3. (Awful) (information) (moves) (lickety-split).   

ANSWER: 1. Like father, like son.

2. All that glitters is not gold.

3. Bad news travels fast. 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

I will make your day great

But during the night I’ll keep you up late.

Away the darkness runs from me

Just so that you may see.

By nature and by man I am made.

Call me and I’ll come to your aid.

Even though you may try so much

You’ll never touch.

I am faster than a speeding train,

Faster than any plane.

So who may I be?

You’ll just have to guess and see.

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE MOVES BANKS

              

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.