by eucman

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Funny-Puns-03

WELCOME to Friday, February 12, 2016.    

Educational Puns….
1. I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.
2. A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.
3. I’m bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.
4. My student was late for class, claiming he was in the washroom. I think he was stalling.
5. I wondered why my geometry class was always tired. They were all out of shape.
6. I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.
7. I used to hate maths but then I realised decimals have a point.
8. My son’s spelling test consisted of synonyms of the word incorrect. He was able
    to write every wrong.
9. I didn’t understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me.
10.I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions.
11. I’ve failed the mathematics test so many times I lost count.
12. In high school I recall having a beautiful but difficult math teacher. She was easy on the eyes
      and hard on the pupils!
13. The high school music teacher was quite controversial. He told his students to
      read band books.
14. Little Jimmy told his teacher he never saw a humming bird but he had watched a spelling bee.
15. After periodic doubts about his vocational calling, the young chemistry teacher concluded he
     was out of his element.
16. We’re not getting anywhere in geometry class. It feels like we’re going in circles.
17. As long as the imperial system is in place a ruler will be afoot.
18. Decimals have a point.
19. Only the squares are doing well in geometry class. It’s their area.
20. The English Teacher felt odd after being fired: it was post-grammatic stress disorder. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction. Anne Frank

Love is suffering. One side always loves more. Catherine Deneuve

The Universe is one great kindergarten for man. Everything that exists has brought with it its own peculiar lesson. Orison Swett Marden

Never put a sock in a toaster. Eddie Izzard 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

 A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” 

The man replies, “all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious…Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything — meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything.” 

“Well,” says the dentist, “that’s probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It’s eaten away your upper plate. I’ll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome.” “Why chrome?” asks the patient. 

To which the dentist replies, “It’s simple. Everyone knows that there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!”  

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “That’s okay. God loves you anyways.”  

Answer: Dracula 2000! Said by Johnny Lee Miller, to Omar Epps, who plays a vampire, as he stabs him in the eye with a cross/knife.  

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “What could be worse than rape?”

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

7 dogs were boarding at the local Pet Lodge. Each dog was in a separate run, all in a single row. One of the employees left the cages unlocked and the dogs have all gotten out of their runs. She needs to put each of them back in the right cage, but this is all she remembers. Help her get them in the right cages, and QUICK!

Dogs: Beau, Duke, Fluffy, Lady, Princess, Rover, and Spike

1. Spike doesn’t like other dogs much, so he was on one of the ends.

2. Princess was somewhere to the left of Beau.

3. Rover was in the third run from the right.

4. The only dog between Fluffy and Lady was Princess.

5. Duke was directly to the left of Lady.  

ANSWER: Duke-Lady-Princess-Fluffy-Rover-Beau-Spike 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Add together each of the defined words to get a whole new word.

Example: to shout + what you say when you feel pain = a color = yellow.

1) A light brown color + to leave = a dance.

2) A store’s announcement + a type of women’s clothing = a building’s location.

3) A vehicle + an animal pal = a floor covering.

4) The ocean + a father’s boy = part of the year.

5) Another name for dad + a yellow veggie = a white fluffy snack.

 

 

    

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

Leave a comment