WELCOME to Monday, April 4, 2016.
Why and If……
Why are boxing rings square?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up, like, every two hours?
Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
Can you cry under water?
What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget
to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES….
“Baby names based on the characters from ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ are becoming very popular. I feel like if you’re naming your baby after a science fiction movie character, maybe you’re not ready to have a baby.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Video was released this weekend of a man setting a new world record by eating 200 Peeps in 14 minutes. Unfortunately, the record was for ‘largest coffin.'” -Seth Meyers
“A man used a fake bomb to hijack an EgyptAir flight. Here’s the crazy part — it was all an attempt to deliver a love letter to his ex-wife who he was trying to win back. So relax, everyone. It’s not terrorism, just good old stalking and harassment.” -James Corden
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
It just dawned on me why Mayberry from ‘The Andy Griffith Show’ was so peaceful and quiet ….nobody was married!
Here are the single people that come to mind. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T. Bass, the Darlin family, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara… in fact, the only one who was married was Otis, and he was the town drunk. 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m scared to close my eyes. I’m scared to open them.’
Answer: The Blair Witch Project! This movie was praised for its low-budget visual style, but I’ve got news for you. ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ did basically the same thing, with a much scarier story, years prior.
Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn. People die. But real love lives forever.’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Name the automobile makes:
1. river wading place
2. ringed planet
3. famous emancipator
4. weep convulsively
5. Star Wars action figure
6. earth wanderer
7. spotted cat
8. heavy metal
9. evade
10. diminutive
11. endlessness
12. bawl + disparaging remark
ANSWER: 1. Ford
2. Saturn
3. Lincoln
4. Saab (sob)
5. Toyota (toy Yoda, HA-HA)
6. Land Rover
7. Jaguar
8. Mercury
9. Dodge
10. MINI
11. Infiniti (infinity)
12. Chrysler (cry+slur…a stretch, I know)
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Discovered in Africa, I spread like a tide
To become a hot staple known the world wide.
A necessity to some, a treasure to many,
I’m best enjoyed among pleasant company.
Some like me hot and some like me cold.
Some prefer mild, others only bold.
Some take me straight, while some like to savor
My essence to which has been added a flavor.
So put down your cares and sit awhile with me;
I’ll send you back refreshed and full of energy.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 
LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.
The World According to the Eucman! 