WELCOME to Monday, May 23, 2016.
Male-Organised Courses for Women
Note: That due to the complexity and difficulty level of the subject area, class sizes will be limited to 5 women.
Class 1: Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 pm
Class 2: Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Moaning About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3: Is It Possible To Drive Past a Waitrose Without Stopping? – Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 pm for 2 hours.
Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between a Handbag and a Suitcase – Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 pm for 3 weeks.
Class 5: Curling Irons – Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning At 7:00 pm
Class 6: How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Programme
Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 pm
Class 7: Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 pm, 2 hours.
Class 8: I Was Wrong and He Was Right! Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 pm. Location to be determined.
Class 9: How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Class 10: Learning to Live: How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
Tuesdays at 7:00 pm. Location to be determined
Class 11: How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 pm.
Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES….
“Over 400 passengers missed their flights at Chicago O’Hare on Sunday because of the TSA security lines which were up to three hours long. It’s bad news for travelers, but good news for dads who insisted on getting to the airport five hours early.” -Jimmy Fallon
“The Mexican restaurant Chipotle, which has seen decreasing sales since its recent norovirus outbreak, is trying to win customers back with a contest where one lucky winner will receive free burritos for a year. To me, this seems like one of those contests where the winner is also the loser.” -James Corden
“According to a new study, there have been more deaths this year from selfie-related incidents than there have been from shark attacks. Good.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, “How come you aren’t married?”
John: “I haven’t found the right woman yet.”
George: “So what are you looking for?”
John: “Oh she’s got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper, she’s got to know how to handle finances, have a nice and pleasant personality — and money, she’s got to have money, and if she has her own house it wouldn’t hurt either.”
George: “A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!”
John: “Oh, it’s okay if she is crazy.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Over? Did you say, ‘Over’? Nothing is over until we say it is. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no. And it ain’t over now. ‘Cause when the going get tough, the tough get going. Who’s with me? Let’s go!”
Answer: Animal House! Bluto (John Belushi) said this in response to the comment by D-Day (Bruce McGill) that, “The war’s over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.” Bluto and the boys went on to trash the homecoming parade and exact their revenge. In what is arguably the greatest comedy movie of all time, this is the scene that will live in infamy. “Germans?”
Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “It’s a tough world and these kids nearly got ‘munsoned’, but they’re back.”
TODAY’S TRIVIA MASTER AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! WAY2GO KIM! 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In the following code, each symbol stands for one of five letters.
+ stands for I, J, G, A, or M
* stands for N, B, P, Q, or W
= stands for R, U, C, X, or T
& stands for H, E, K, Z, or Y
? stands for O, L, F, H, or V
The five letter code word, *?+=&, can be translated into two English words that are opposites. What are the two words?
ANSWER: White and Black.
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Let’s get ready for challenge.
I think you know where I am.
Because, as you know, I hold lots of knowledge.
Really, I can lend a helping hand.
Although since people most often come for
Riveting good stories and tales,
You, my friend, can find knowledge in me.
Whether it be history, science, or Braille.
I cannot be held in your hand, you see.
I’m quite a bit larger than that.
So come right in, and let’s begin.
Put on your thinking cap!
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 
LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.
The World According to the Eucman! 