by eucman

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Friday, October 21, 2016.    

Here’s the story…..  A teenage boy called Joel had just passed his driving test and asked Dad when they could discuss his use of the car. Dad said ‘Ill make a deal with you Joel, You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car.” The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, “Joel, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve seen that you have been studying your Bible. But I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”  “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my Bible studies that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”  “Joel, did you also notice all those people walked everywhere they went?”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

“A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don’t drink at all. At least, that’s what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice.” -Jimmy Kimmel
 
“The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that people under the age of 18 should be banned from tanning salons. Parents that take their kids to tanning salons should be banned from parenting.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“Chase bank ATMs are getting a new feature that will allow customers to withdraw cash without using a card. The feature is called a ‘crowbar.'” -Conan O’Brien 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

To prepare for my daughter’s First Communion, I called the church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate.
 
We lived there for only a short while, so I didn’t know the clergy well. When the secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn’t remember.
 
After a brief silence, she said, “Ma’am, I’m talking about the name of the baby’s father.”

  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Our daddy may have advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage, but he’s a very gentle person.” 

ANSWER: Me, Myself and Irene! Jamaal Baileygates (Anthony Anderson) said this about his father, Charlie (Jim Carrey), who had a split personality. This was an awesome movie. The star of this one was the prize cow in the middle of the road; a most hilarious scene.  

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Okay, how’s this for our new Friday lineup: 8 o’clock, “Druids on Parade”; then “The Volcano Worshippers’ Hour”; followed by “Underwater Bingo for Teens” and “Fun With Dirt”.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Insert one word in each pair to link the two words together. The end of the first word is the beginning of the second.
1. Short __ __ __ __ Light
2. Arch __ __ __ Station
3. Dill __ __ __ __ __ __ Barrel
4. Corn __ __ __ __ __ Box
5. Bar __ __ __ __ __ Pigeon

 

 

ANSWER:  1. Stop, 2. Way, 3. Pickle, 4. Bread, 5. Stool

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Jake and his friend Paco had very famous challenge sessions at their school. One would suggest something they could do, and the other would prove it wrong somehow.

One day, Jake surprised Paco by stating: “I can answer any question in the world.”

Sure that he would win the challenge, Paco accepted the task of proving it wrong. He wrote up a test full of impossible questions. After a while, Jake returned the test. Paco unbelievably lost the challenge and told Jake he could indeed answer any question. How did Jake win?

 
 
 
 
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

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