by eucman

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, February 21, 2017.               

Funny Name and Job…
Bankers, Wallowa County, Oregon: Cheatham & Steele
Chorister, Westminster Choir College, Princeton, New Jersey: Justin Tune
Gynaecologist, New York Hospital, New York City: Dr Zoltan Ovary
Chairman, Tetley Tea Company, London: Tetley Ironsides Tetley Jones
Dentist, Roslyn Heights, New York: Dr. E. Z. Filler
Phlebotomist, St Mary’s Hospital, Portsmouth, UK: Lavinia Blood
The national Director of Surgery at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs in Washington, D.C.  Dr Blades
Plumber Worcester UK: Mr Turner-Heaton
Lloyds/TSB Bank Manager, Waterlooville, UK: Mr F. Knox
Mr. Vice, Malefactor, New Orleans, Louisiana. Arrested 890 times and convicted 421, probably a record (International Herald Tribune)
Interior decorator, Reading, UK: Derek Paynter
Municipal Tax Collector, Brazil (Financial Times): Cardiac Arrest da Silva
Funeral Director, Sydney, Australia: C. D’ Eath and Sons
Landscape Gardeners from Salisbury, UK called: Budd and Bush
Silent Movie Organist, Rochester, New York: C. Sharp Minor
Central City, Kentucky automobile salesman: Henry Ford Carr
Never Fail is a builder in Tulsa, Oklahoma
Mr Robbins is a renowned ornithologist (bird scientist and bird-bander) at a Federal wildlife research center in Maryland, USA. He is co-author of the guidebook “Birds of North America”.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


DAILY QUOTES…“Burger King is reportedly close to buying Popeye’s Chicken. Wow, Burger King must be really drunk.” -Seth Meyers

“There is so much going on in the world right now. Not just in the world, there’s a lot going on in the universe. For those of you who are looking to get off the planet, astronomers at the Carnegie Institution discovered more than 100 potential planets that may be habitable, which means we’re one step closer to finding a planet with intelligent life.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“In North Carolina, a mother is suing a daycare center because one of the workers there breastfed her son without permission. Authorities say she doesn’t really have a case because her son is 32.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, the first guy said, “Panty stitcher…I sew the elastic onto women’s panties.”
The clerk looked up panty stitcher in her table. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
The second guy was asked his occupation. “Diesel fitter,” he replied.
Diesel fitter is listed as a skilled job, so the clerk gave the second guy $600 a week. When the first guy found out he was furious. He stormed into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, “Panty stitchers are unskilled, and diesel fitters are skilled labor.”
“What skill?!” yelled the panty stitcher. “I sew the elastic, and he pulls on it and says, “Yep, dese’ll fit ‘er.”😱

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Never being happy isn’t the same as being unhappy. Is it?”

 

ANSWER: Fame! Spoken by Montgomery McNeil (Paul McCrane) to Doris Finsecker (Maureen Teefy). The struggles of a group of students at a New York arts school to maintain their academic studies with their personal lives and show business aspirations. Starring: Irene Cara, Maureen Teefy, Paul McCrane, and Laura Dean.


Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Or I’ll be a super-jet pilot, fly me high way out in the blue. Then they’ll see, I’m no shrinking violet. I got a lot of living to do!”

 

 

 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Camp Pineveiw’s cook, Margaret Johnson, was just about to begin preparing the picnic lunch for all the campers. She already knew she needed to fill 55 bowls of the same size and capacity with the same amount of food. When she was done, she decided to read the guidelines for the picnic, just out of curiosity. The guidelines said:
1. Every camper gets their own bowl of soup.
2. Every two campers will get one bowl of spaghetti to share.
3. Every three campers will get one bowl of salad to share.
4. All campers are required to have their own helping of salad, spaghetti, and soup.
After some rapid calculations, Margaret was able to figure out how many campers were going to the picnic. Can you?

ANSWER: 30 campers

 

 

 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 

We are often dangerous
But to some we are fun
To others we are frightening
Causing them to run
We come together
Though we seem apart
You see me and you hear my brother
Who oft times makes little ones run to their mothers,
I am bright and my brother is loud
And it may seem that we come from a cloud, What are we?

     

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com, www.stlzoo.org

 

 

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