WELCOME to Tuesday February 27, 2018.
Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep
you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re
sure you’re not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies
wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it
and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket
aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as
to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a
child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to
make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people,
“Starbucks is going to start carrying coconut milk. If you want to stay competitive in the coffee business you’ve got to consistently provide your customers with new ways to make their orders more annoying.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Researchers say much of Florida could be underwater by the end of the century. On the bright side, they say it could happen much sooner.” -Conan O’Brien
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Last week she and I took what proved to be 134 pounds of cardboard boxes to the recycling center and earned $1.34. Counting gas and ice cream, we turned a profit of -$7.85.
We’re going to use generally accepted accounting principles and see if we can apply this amount to our taxable income.
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ANSWER: Ghostbusters (1984)
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The Addams’ guessed Otto, Roebling, Steinmetz, Tesla, and Westinghouse.
The Bunkers guessed Tesla, Westinghouse, Otto, Steinmetz, and Roebling.
The Cunninghams guessed Roebling, Tesla, Steinmetz, Westinghouse, and Otto.
The Flintstones guessed Tesla, Roebling, Otto, Steinmetz, and Westinghouse.
The Jetsons guessed Tesla, Westinghouse, Steinmetz, Otto, and Roebling.
No two families got the same number of points. Which family walked home with the grand prize?
ANSWER:
The correct order was Tesla, Roebling, Otto, Steinmetz, and Westinghouse. The totals for each family are
Addams = 2 (no thanks to Lurch)
Bunkers = 3 (you meathead!)
Cunninghams = 0 (the Fonz was not allowed to play)
Flintstones = 5
Jetsons = 1 (c’mon George, get off that broken treadmill)
and the Flintstones won a trip to the nearest tar pit.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. To look for -> To perceive
2. Use the mind -> Slender, narrow
3. Enclosed army vehicle -> A colour; darkening of the skin
4. A colour -> Thin, pointed piece of metal
5. Tree covering -> Metal rod
6. Timber; board -> Design; a scheme developed in advance
7. Bare, plain; blunt -> Celestial night light
8. Descended in water -> Celestial night light with orbiting planets
The World According to the Eucman! 