WELCOME to THURSDAY June 1, 2023
What the Doctor says and what he really means
Doctor: “This should be taken care of right away.”
Translation: I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy
and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.
Doctor: “Let me check your medical history.”
Translation: I want to see if you’ve paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.”
Doctor: “We have some good news and some bad news.”
Translation: The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW.
The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.
Doctor: “Let me schedule you for some tests.”
Translation: I have a forty percent interest in the lab.
Doctor: “I’d like to prescribe a new drug.”
Translation: I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.
Doctor: “If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call.”
Translation: I don’t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.
Doctor: “I’d like to run some more tests.”
Translation: I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve it.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY!, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“I read that after the success of their in-store cafes, Ikea might open its own restaurants.
Which is great, until you have to assemble your own table.” -Jimmy Fallon
“An archaeologist is claiming he has discovered an amazing lost city in Kansas. Then he realized
he just got drunk and watched ‘The Wizard of Oz.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A woman in the U.K. held a wedding ceremony to marry herself. I don’t know how to tell you this,
but I think that lady you just married might be crazy.” -Seth Meyers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
After their expulsion from paradise, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel.
As they passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden, one of the boys asked, “Father, what’s that?”
Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.” 😳😳😳
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as nothing more than a vicious, smelly, ill-tempered,
big-headed stink machine. I believe we all know what they do in the woods.
Answer: Bee Movie!
“Bee Movie” (2007) is an animated comedy about a bee named Barry B. Benson (voiced by producer of the film Jerry Seinfeld) who discovers, from a florist friend, that humans eat all the honey that bees produce. So Barry decides to sue the human race. He goes to court and making his case for the hardships bees face in the process of making honey, Barry brings a bear into the courtroom, the same bear that was broadcast attacking a bee hive on the “Hive at Five” news report on television.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Now if there’s one thing you can be sure of, it’s that nothing is more powerful than a young boy’s wish. Except an
Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive
complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
What is represented below?
S V
K E
I S
P S
P E
E L
R
Answer: The captain goes down with the ship.
Skipper is another word for captain.
Vessel is another word for ship.
These two words both go down.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Add one letter to each word below – anywhere in the word – so that each numbered pair becomes two words of opposite meaning. For example, adding P and L to PLUM and SENDER would result in PLUMP and SLENDER.
- BUGLER EXERT
- KID MAN
- STALE SHAY
- RAID SOW
- FLAT SIN
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 