WELCOME to MONDAY June 12, 2023

Cards You Will Never See In Hallmark

“Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.”

“How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?”

“I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.”

“I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you.”

“Looking back over the years that we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder: What was I thinking?”

“As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that
you’re not here to ruin it for me.”

“If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it’s your sister.”

“As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts
you’ve given me. Like the need for therapy…”

“Thanks for being a part of my life!!!I never
knew what evil was before this!”

“Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like
to take this knife out of my back. You’ll probably need it again.”

“Someday I hope to get married, but not to you.”

“Happy Birthday! You look great for your age…Almost Lifelike!

“When we were together, you always said you’d die for me. Now
that we’ve broke up, I think it’s time you kept your promise.”

“I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my
best friend. So here’s his leash, water bowl and chew toys.”

“We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits.”

“I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re here.”

“Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?”

“You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
was only one life jacket…. I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.”

“Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birthday —so we’re having you put to sleep.”

“Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!” (available only in Arkansas)

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The Arizona Senate passed a bill making it illegal for a
person to ‘intentionally’ create ‘a human-animal hybrid.’
And right afterward, one farmer was like, ‘Define
intentionally.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“They sent specialists down to the Gulf to start a controlled
fire on the ocean to burn the oil off. That’s how you know
when things are bad, when the ocean on fire is an improve-
ment.” -Jay Leno

“A new survey found that one-third of married women with
pets say their animals are better listeners than their
husbands. When husbands heard that they were like, ‘Huh?
You say something?'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your
hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”
To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and
listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!” 😳😳😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I have always found that socially unacceptable people make the best lovers because they are more sensitive.”

Answer: I Shot Andy Warhol!
“I Shot Andy Warhol” (1996) is based on the life of Valerie Solanas, a 60’s radical who wrote a manifesto called “Scum” about her hatred of males. The film opens with the actual shooting and Valerie (played by Lily Taylor) taken into custody for shooting Warhol (Jared Harris), and in flashback we see the events leading up to her anger at being ignored by Warhol, who would not entertain the idea of producing a movie of a screenplay she wrote. Actor Stephen Dorff plays the transgender Candy Darling, a member of the Warhol “Factory”. Candy writes this quote in her diary. Andy Warhol would cast Candy in his films, as she was somewhat of a muse for him.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Oh, Jerry, don’t let’s us ask for the moon, we have the stars.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
The following pairs of words can be unscrambled to make two words that go together,
like “this & that.” All pairs follow the same theme. Can you determine what they say?

DARK BOG = _ +
COW MEAT = +
ASHES SINK = +
BRANDY YOKE = + _

Answer: Dog Bark
Cat Meow
Snake Hiss
Donkey Bray

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Fill in the blank below with a word that means the same as the word on the left when read normally and fits the definition on the right when read backwards.

Wicked __ Exist
Make a picture Municipal sector

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. ​ ​​ ​ ​