WELCOME to WEDNESDAY July 12, 2023
Lexophile Punagraphy….
- A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
- A will is a dead giveaway.
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In a democracy it’s your vote that counts;
in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes. - A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
- If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
- You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
- Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
- He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
- A calendar’s days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
- A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
- The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
- When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
- If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture: a jab well done.
- Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
- The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was
Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. - I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. - She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
- A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra
class because it was a weapon of math disruption. - The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
- A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
- Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
- A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’ - I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
- A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When
his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’ - The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
- When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
- Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“If everyone is moving forward together, then
success takes care of itself.” — Henry Ford
“Let us all be the leaders we
wish we had.” — Simon Sinek
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed
citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only
thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead
“Individually, we are one drop. Together,
we are an ocean.” — Ryunosuke Satoro
“Great teams do not hold back with one another. They are
unafraid to air their dirty laundry. They admit their mistakes,
their weaknesses, and their concerns without fear of reprisal.”
— Patrick Lencioni, American author.
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A young man comes home and says “Dad, just got my driver’s license and would like to use the family car.”
Father replies, :”O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean,
make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we’ll see.”
Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand.
“Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I’ve been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard
is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?”
Father replies, “That’s all true, but son you didn’t cut your hair.”
Son says, “But, dad, Jesus had long hair.”
Father replies, “Yes, son, you’re perfectly right.
And he walked everywhere he went.” 😳😳😳
Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.”
Answer: Lilo & Stitch!
This phrase was said a few times in “Lilo & Sitch”. Lilo said it to her sister Nani when Nani was trying to throw Stitch out of the house. When Stitch was captured by Jumba and Pleakley, Stitch said the phrase to Nani to show her that he considered Lilo and Nani his family. According to Lilo, it was her father who taught her about ohana.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“We are all connected to each other.”
TODAY’S MOVIE QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! NICE WORK KIM!
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Can you decipher this phrase?
R.P.I.
Answer: A grave error
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
I used to think that I’m important
But now people tell me I’m not.
I can’t even control where I’m going.
But I’m quite sure that it’s not hot.
I cut in front of other shapes,
Going towards the light.
Now tell me, who am I?
While I wait in everlasting night.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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