WELCOME to THURSDAY July 13, 2023

My Top 20 Jobs. A punny story.
 Here’s a story about the jobs I had and tried to get.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn’t concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.
Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn’t up to it.
So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

Stupid sports quotes
These are actual sports quotes said by various people throughout the world.

Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife
on all the road trips, Phillips responded, “Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.”

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the ‘Skins say “I’d run over my own mother to
win the Super Bowl,” Matt Millen of the Raiders said, “To win, I’d run over Joe’s mom too.”

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: “Nobody in football
should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: “I’m going to graduate on
time, no matter how long it takes.” Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
“You guys line up alphabetically by height.” and “You guys pair up in
groups of three, then line up in a circle.”

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of
academic requirements: “I play football. I’m not trying to be a professor.
The tests don’t seem to make sense to me, measuring your
brain on stuff I haven’t been through in school.”

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game.
Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
“I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they
were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Well, everyone kept yelling,
‘Get the quarter back!'” 😳😳😳

Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“We are all connected to each other.”

Answer: Pocahontas!
The line was sung by Pocahontas in the movie of the same name. The song itself was called “Colors of the Wind” and was about seeing nature from another culture’s point of view (in this case, Native Americans). Pocahontas and her tribe view the world around her as things and objects to be respected not to be hunted. There were some similarities between what Pocahontas is singing and to the concept of animism, a religious belief that anything natural has a soul. Pocahontas’s line to John Smith “we are all connected to each other” reflected this fact.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Our trio’s down to two.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
I used to think that I’m important
But now people tell me I’m not.
I can’t even control where I’m going.
But I’m quite sure that it’s not hot.
I cut in front of other shapes,
Going towards the light.
Now tell me, who am I?
While I wait in everlasting night.

Answer: I am the planet Pluto, The only one. At the edge of our system, Far from the sun.
Lines 1 and 2 are from that Pluto used to be considered a planet, but then was changed to a dwarf planet.
Lines 3 and 4 are from that Pluto can’t change where it goes, and that it is far from the sun.
Lines 5 and 6 are from that Pluto’s orbit cuts closer to the sun than Neptune for a while, before going back to the outside.
Line 7 is from that Pluto is so far away from the sun that even the day on the planet feels like night, and so night lasts forever.

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
What word/phrase is described by the following rebus?

Julio Iglesias
Lana Turner
Dinah Shore
John Wayne
Robert Redford
John Ireland
Elizabeth Taylor
John Travolta
Barbara Eden
Jack Nicholson

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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