WELCOME to MONDAY August 14, 2023

Here’s The Story…..
A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep.
It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out
for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both
looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”.
The dude replies “A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000.”
“That’s a lotta money!” says the old man, shocked. “Why does it cost so much?”
“Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!” states the cool dude proudly.
The old man asks “Can I take a look inside?”
“Sure” replies the owner.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped,
the old man says “That’s a pretty nice car, alright!”
Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do.
He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot
in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!
Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!
The guy wonders “what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?” Then, ahead
of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.
Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped!
Couldn’t be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!
WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.
The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting
for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks “You’re hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?”
The old man replies “Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!”😳😳😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The two most common elements in the
universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”
–Harlan Ellison

“I’m thirty years old, but I read at
the thirty-four-year-old level.”
–Dana Carvey

“I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis
and I don’t deserve that either.”
–Jack Benny

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two men got out of their cars after they collided at an intersection.
One took a flask from his pocket and said to the other, “Here, maybe
you’d like a nip to calm your nerves.” “Thanks,” he said, and took a long
pull from the container. “Here, you have one, too,” he added, handing
back the whiskey. “Well, I’d rather not,” said the first.
“At least not until after the police have been here.” 😳😳😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it,
stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.”

Answer: Caddyshack!
From one of the most quotable sports comedies of all time. Ty Webb (Chevy Chase) approaches the game of golf somewhat like a zen master. Here he attempts to disciple Danny, a caddy, by hitting the ball while blindfolded.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Hey, you wanna hear my philosophy of life? Do it to him before he does it to you.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
I have given you five (5) pairs of words. Fill in the blank below with a single letter to turn these pairs of words into synonyms.

EX: _TUMBLE and _RIP

Answer: STUMBLE and TRIP

1) _COLD and _HIDE

2) _AMBLE and _AGER

3) _EARNING and _RAVING

4) _ALLY and _CORE

5) _AVER and _ALTER

Answer: 1) Scold and Chide

2) Gamble and Wager

3) Yearning and Craving

4) Tally and Score

5) Waver and Falter

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
If

PACK + KNIT + STAY + ELMO = KITE

Then

THAW + FLIT + GNAT+ DIET = ?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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