WELCOME to THURSDAY August 17, 2023
Question answer 01…..
Where do religious school children practice sports?
In the prayground!
How did the basketball court get wet?
The players dribbled all over it!
Why did the chicken get sent off?
For persistent fowl play!
Why were the two managers sitting around sketching
crockery before the start of the game?
It was a cup draw!
Where do football directors go when they are fed up?
The bored room!
A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club?
“Were the crowd not behind you” asked the reporter
“They were right behind me all right”, said the manager,
“But I managed to shake them off at the station!”
Why was the struggling manger seen shaking the club cat?
To see if there was any more money in the kitty!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
Yogi Berra Quotes
“Always go to other people’s funerals,
otherwise they won’t come to yours.”
“Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.”
“If the people don’t want to come out to
the park, nobody’s gonna stop them.”
“No wonder nobody comes here; it’s too crowded.”
“We made too many wrong mistakes.”
“You can observe a lot by just watching.”
“I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.”
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought
that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to his kids.
After creating Heaven and Earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing He said to them was: “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”, Adam replied.
“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.”
“Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?”
“It’s over there,” said God, wondering why He hadn’t stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and He was angry.
“Didn’t I tell you not to eat that fruit?” the First Parent asked.
“Uh huh,” Adam replied.
“Then why did you?”
“I dunno,” Adam answered.
God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is reassurance in this story.
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? 😳😳
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“The horror, the horror.”
Answer: “Apocalypse Now”!
“Apocalypse Now” is a 1979 movie and starred Marlon Brando as Colonel Kurtz. It is a story about a ‘secret’ mission to find a renegade and mysterious Green Beret Colonel who has fled to Cambodia, during the Vietnam War. The movie also starred Robert Duvall, Martin Sheen, Laurence Fishbourne and many others.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Jenny dropped in to see her friends, Tom and Dana, one afternoon after work. Dana answered the door when she rang.
Jenny said, “Hi! What’s going on? Are you guys busy?”
Dana groaned. “Oh, you won’t believe it! Tom is late getting home from work, and his mother just called and she’ll be over to visit at six!”
“Yikes! That’s only an hour away!” Jenny responded. “Can I help?”
“Sure! Here, have a Coke with me!” Dana handed her a cold can from the fridge.
“OK, what can I do? Kitchen looks OK; you’re doing the living room; how about the bathroom?”
“Uh… yes, please! Oh no! I ran out of toilet cleaner and don’t have the time to get some! Oh boy! And it needs it!”
Jenny said, “Let me see what I can do,” and headed for the bathroom.
Less than an hour later, the apartment was spick and span. Dana had put out some fruit, cheese and crackers; Tom was home and had opened a bottle of wine; and Jenny had arranged some silk flowers in a vase. Even the bathroom was sparkling, especially the toilet. What had Jenny done to get the toilet clean?
Answer: Jenny walked into the bathroom and poured her whole can of Coke into the toilet. Then she worked on the sink and the tub while the coke fizzed and bubbled. She shook the bath mat out the window and ran a damp mop over the floor. While the floor dried, she found some silk flowers, shook the dust out of them, and put them into a vase on the table in the livingroom. Then she went back to the bathroom and swished the toilet brush around until the toilet was clean. A few last minute touches and everything was done!
Explanation: Coke contains phosphoric acid, which attacks the scale that gets on the inside of the toilet. It doesn’t work for really bad jobs, but will do well in a pinch! Kool-Aid also cleans toilets. And we drink this stuff?
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
What’s this rebus?
Ptimetimetime
Etimetimetime
Etimetimetime
Ktimetimetime
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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