WELCOME to WEDNESDAY August 23, 2023

The Darwin Award….
Now this year’s winners:(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins,
of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George
Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them),
they thought it would be easy to “hop” over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show.

They pulled their pick-up truck over to the fence and the plan was for (the late) Mr. Pernicky,
who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his friend
over. Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30 foot drop on the other side of the fence.

Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly
halted (and broken, along with his arm, as it were) by a large branch that snagged him by
his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes
below him. (Possibly) figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife
and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree.

Finally free, (did I mention that he is THE LATE) Mr. Pernicky crashed into Holly bushes. The
sharp leaves Scratched his ENTIRE body, without the protection of his shorts. To make matters
worse (?!), on landing, his pocketknife penetrated his thigh 3 inches.

(The late) Mr. Hawkins, on seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, decided to throw him
a rope and pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pick-up truck and slowly driving away.
However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence
landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pick-up with its driver thrown
100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries.

Upon moving the truck, they found John under it, half-naked, scratches on his body, a knife in his
thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air. 😳😳😳

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Nothing great was ever achieved
without enthusiasm.”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak
behind the barn and do nothing.”
–Johnny Carson

“The two most common elements in the
universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”
–Harlan Ellison

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
CAIRO, Egypt (AP) – Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken
that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to
descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the
water pulled him down, police said.
His sister and two brothers, none of whom could swim well, went in one by one to
help him, but also drowned. Two elderly farmers then came to help, but they apparently
were pulled down by the same undercurrent. The bodies of the six were later pulled out
of the well in the village of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles south of Cairo.
The chicken was also pulled out. It survived. 😳😳😳😳

Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you”.

Answer: “Yankee Doodle Dandy”
“Yankee Doodle Dandy” is a 1942 movie that stars James Cagney as George M Cohan. The movie also features Joan Leslie and Walter Huston. The film tells of the life story of George M Cohan, who was a dancer, singer and actor. James Cagney was born in 1899 and died in 1986 and was famed for his “tough guy” roles. He acted in over 65 movies. He was nominated for three Oscars and won Best Actor in a Leading Role for “Yankee Doodle Dandy”. He has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You know you don’t have to act with me, Steve. You don’t have to say anything, and you don’t have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and… blow.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Having arrested John Jacobson, the man who kidnapped Bill Richman, a party was held in Detective Donald’s honor. However, to test Donald’s smarts, Bill Richman sent Donald this paper:

Dear Donald,
To get to the party, drive to Green Road, where there will be a row of eleven houses that look exactly the same. One of them is my house. Which one, you ask? Well, you’ll have to find out with these clues:
My house is not the one on the left.
I have exactly two neighbors.
Do not enter the third one, because it’s not my house.
Don’t enter the ninth one either.
Lose the thought of entering the three houses on the very right.
Erase the thought of entering the houses on the left, too.
Okay, enough hints. Which house do I live in? If you think there’s not enough clues, think again!

Donald read it over a couple times and drove to the house where the party was being held.
Which house in the row did Bill live in?

Answer: Bill lives in the house in the middle. Read the note again, but this time,
look at the first letter of each line. The capitalized letters in the clues spell out “MIDDLE.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
If you have me, you want to share me.
But if you share me, I will no longer exist.
What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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