WELCOME to THURSDAY August 31, 2023

Here’s The Story…
This guy, Artie, gets tired of working so hard and not getting anywhere, and
seeing all these guys in the Mafia in their fine three-piece suits and
fancy cars, decides that he has to join the Mafia.
He goes up to one of the guys and says, ” I want to join the Mafia.”
The guy answers, ” You ever kill any one for money?”
Artie answers, “No.”
The guy says, ” Well, you either got to be born into the mafia, or you gotta kill somebody for money.”
So Artie says, ” How much will you pay me?”
The guy says, ” I’m not gonna pay you.”
Artie says, ” C’mon, just pay me a dollar so I can get in.”
The guy says, ” Okay, I’ll tell you what. You kill somebody, tell me about it, and
if I see it in the morning paper, I’ll pay you a dollar.”
Artie says, ” Oh thank you, thank you!” and heads off on his mission. He goes to Ralphs Supermarket,
sees an old lady pushing a cart, and decides that she’s lived a full life, goes up to her,
grabs her round the neck and chokes her to death.
The bag boy sees him, and chases after him. Artie realizes that he can’t out run the bag boy,
turns around, grabs the bag boy by the neck and chokes him to death.
In the morning paper the headlines read, ” ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT RALPHS!” 😳😳😳😁😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Someone I once loved gave me a box full of darkness. It
took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.” – Mary Oliver

“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on, it is going on
when you don’t have the strength.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks
grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds
are made under pressure.” – Peter Marshall

“When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember
this: you haven’t.” – Thomas A. Edison

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize
this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius

“We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time,
meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it
appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
He was a mediocre conductor of a mediocre orchestra. He had been having problems
with the basses; they were the least professional of his musicians. It was the last
performance of the season, Beethoven痴 9th Symphony, which required extra effort
from the basses at the end. Earlier that evening, he found the basses celebrating one
of their birthdays by passing a bottle around. As he was about to cue the basses, he
knocked over his music stand. The sheet music scattered. As he stood in front of his
orchestra, his worst fear was realized; it was the bottom of the 9th,
no score and the basses were loaded. 😳😳😳😁😎

Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Why don’t you come up sometime and see me?”

Answer: “She Done Him Wrong”
Mae West, as Lady Lou, says this to Cary Grant, who plays undercover federal agent Captain Cummings. Mae was reknowned for her quick and racy comebacks. She was a very talented woman who not only acted, but wrote several screenplays, including this one. She belonged to the era of the zoftig, brassy, vixen type of femme fatale, and sometimes played opposite W.C. Fields, whose banter she could match very well.
In the later film, “I’m No Angel” her character, Tira, says to Jack Clayton (Cary Grant), “Come up and see me sometime.” This may be the source of the two quotes getting mixed up.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Oh, Jerry, don’t let’s ask for the moon. We have the stars.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
What’s this rebus?

Ptimetimetime
Etimetimetime
Etimetimetime
Ktimetimetime

ANSWER: Keep up with the times!

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Which phrase from group B belongs with the words in group A?

Group A
Lonely
Patent
Canines
Freighter
Artwork

Group B
Local Election
News Event
Tax Return
Brainy Teaser
Play Date

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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