WELCOME to THURSDAY September 21, 2023

Here’s The Story…..
A scientist was successful in cloning himself.

He was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists.
The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper.

The scientist arrived with his clone and proceeded to the podium. The clone
sat at the end of the head table. The scientist began the speech intending
a tribute to the advances in the field of modern biology.

“My fellow scientists,” he began. But before he could utter another word,
the clone sprang to his feet and shouted out, “he’s an ASSHOLE!”. The crowd
began to murmur as the scientist commanded the clone to “sit down and shut-up!”.
Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, “My fellow scientists,”.
Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, “this dumb ASS couldn’t produce
a copy on a Xerox. He’s fraudulent lying scum!”.
Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window.
The crowd gasped and security rushed into the room. A short while later New York’s
finest arrived and were explained the events that had transpired.
The police chief said to the scientist, “We are going to have to arrest you.” The scientist replied,
“For what? I have committed no crime. What fell from the window was a clone, not a person.”.
The attending scientists nodded in agreement. “Well,” retorted the police chief,
“we can not let this heinous act go unchallenged.”.
The police chief thought for a moment and ordered the scientist held for “Making an obscene clone fall…”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Not in doing what you like, but in liking what you do
is the secret of happiness.” —J.M. Barrie

“My father gave me the best advice of my life. He said, ‘Whatever you do,
don’t wake up at 65 years old and think about what you should
have done with your life.’” —George Clooney

“Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret
is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only
good for wallowing.” —Katherine Mansfield

“I’d rather regret the risks that didn’t work out than the chances
I didn’t take at all.” —Simone Biles

“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out
to it! “—Jonathan Winters

“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties out of his opportunities.
an optimist is one who makes opportunities out
of his difficulties.” —Robert Mansell

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri
on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would
always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.
One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was
dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he
threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.
The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink
and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!”
“No, I’m sorry”, replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.” 😳

Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the… Anyone? Anyone?… the Great Depression, passed the… Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?… raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects?

Answer: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!
The scene for this quote takes place as Stein as the Economics teacher tries make a point to room full of disinterested students.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Oh, you zip it, Doris! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pig slop. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry? NO. And do you know why? Because there’s no crying in baseball. THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! No crying!”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
Try and find the country in each of the following paragraphs:

1. Tom was a very sick boy and was bedridden for three weeks. He was given glandular fever by kissing a lot of girls.
2. Ale was the drink of choice for Andrew. He consumed 10 pints a day and doctors condemned him an alcoholic, which surprised Andrew. “Ale sooths my feelings and makes me feel relaxed, what’s wrong with that? I am still a normal person!”
3. Baby intercoms are going to be replaced by LAN devices. They will give a better signal and are less likely to pick up background noise and are simply put near the baby, possibly in its cot. LAN devices have also been predicted to be used in other places around the house.
4. Sir Elan drove me to the coffee shop. He is such a gentleman, as I did not have to walk. Bravo, I say!

ANSWER: 1. England – He was givEN GLANDular fever…..

2. Wales – …which surprised AndreW. “ALE Sooths my feelings…
3. Scotland – …near the baby, possibly in itS COT. LAN Devices have…
4. Ireland – SIR ELAN Drove me…

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same,
except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) an Old Norse poem
1b) a wheel spoke
1c) an unusually small animal

2a) to give way
2b) a pasture
2c) to handle

3a) a small territorial division of a country
3b) an artillery piece
3c) a deep valley with high steep sides

4a) a hut
4b) to strike with surprise or horror
4c) a husk

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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