WELCOME to FRIDAY October 13, 2023
Here’s The Story….
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down.
After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Eric what the problem is.
“Well,” said Eric, “I ran afoul of one of those trick questions women ask. Now I’m in deep trouble at home.”
“What kind of question?” asked Tom.
“My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly.”
“That’s easy,” said Tom. “You just say ‘Of course I will'”.
“Yeah,” said Eric, “That’s what I did, except I said, ‘Of course I DO….'”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“According to a new report that just came out, the average college freshman reads
at a seventh-grade level. Or if you’re an optimist every seventh grader now
reads at a college freshman level.” -Conan O’Brien
“A company has come out with a line of medical marijuana dog treats. Finally, a
medicine that will help my dog lie on the couch all day.” -Seth Meyers
“Amazon just announced that teens can now shop on their parents’ accounts,
but the order will only go through if Mom and Dad approve it. Or if they click
the button that says, ‘Mom and Dad approve it.'” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned
asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort.
“Sorry,” I replied, “but I’ve been incapacitated.”
Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.
I interrupted and said, “I’m incapacitated. Do you know what that means?”
She hesitated. “It means your head was cut off?”😳😳😎
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You know what the best thing is? I’m not hooked…I could stop at any time.”
Answer: Spun!
“Spun” is a dark comedy about the accounts of several tweakers over the span of a few days. It is set around lead character Ross, who met quite a few peculiar people. From inept cops, to a cook who seems to have lost most of his sense of reality, to a drug dealer who really has lost all sense of reality, Ross’ life will surely not be the same after these days. Said by Ross to Nikki, after being up a couple days straight, this quote sums up the mentality of a drug addict. Ross said it to her as they were driving around feeling the effects of their binge.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I have no legs. I have no legs. I have no legs. I have no legs. May God bless you. I have no legs…”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Four sisters, Sara, Ophelia, Nora, and Dawn, were each born in a different one
of the months September, October, November, and December.
“This is terrible,” said Ophelia one day. “None of us have an initial
that matches the initial of her birth month.”
“I don’t mind at all,” replied the girl who was born in September.
“That’s easy for you to say,” said Nora. “It would at least be cool if
the initial of my birth month was a vowel, but no.”
In which month was each girl born?
ANSWER: Sara was born in October, Ophelia was born in November, Nora was born in December, and Dawn was born in September.
Nora’s birth month obviously cannot be November. Since it doesn’t start with a vowel, it cannot be October. Since she was talking to the girl who was born in September, it cannot be September. Therefore, it must be December.
The girl born in September obviously cannot be Sara. Since she was talking to both Ophelia and Nora, it cannot be either of them. Therefore, it must be Dawn.
This leaves the girls Sara and Ophelia and the months October and November. Ophelia cannot be born in October, so she must be born in November, and Sara was born in October.
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Hans Ernest Froopaloop, Jr. will marry one of three women: Audrey, Brenda, and Charlotte. Here are some facts:
- Of Audrey and Brenda:
a. Either they both have blue eyes or neither has blue eyes.
b. One has red hair and the other does not. - Of Audrey and Charlotte:
a. Either they both have red hair or neither has red hair.
b. One is 5’11” and the other is not. - Of Brenda and Charlotte:
a. One has blue eyes and the other does not.
b. One is 5’11” and the other is not. - Of the three characteristics; blue eyes, red hair and 5’11”:
a. If any of the three women has exactly two of the three characteristics, Mr. Froopaloop will marry the one with the least number of characteristics.
b. If any of the three women has exactly one of the three characteristics, Mr. Froopaloop will marry the one with the greatest number of characteristics.
Who will Mr. Froopaloop marry?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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