WELCOME to MONDAY October 16, 2023

Here’s The Story….
Queen Nyteshade had two claims to fame. She could tell fortunes and she was a
midget. The local authorities frowned on her because they thought that fortune
telling was fraudulent. They had Queeny arrested. She was placed in a holding cell.
Since she was so small she was able to squeeze between the bars of her cell and
escape. This to incensed the judge that he ordered the local newspaper to print an
article about the culprit. The following was printed in the paper the next day.
Small medium at large. 😳😳😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“My Mama says that alligators are ornery because
they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”
—Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler), The Waterboy

“I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to
put sunscreen on my back.”
—Jimmy Kimmel

“Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves
Raymond, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.”
—Pete (Paul Rudd), Knocked Up

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
He was a mediocre conductor of a mediocre orchestra. He had been having
problems with the basses; they were the least professional of his musicians.
It was the last performance of the season, Beethoven痴 9th Symphony, which
required extra effort from the basses at the end. Earlier that evening, he found
the basses celebrating one of their birthdays by passing a bottle around. As he
was about to cue the basses, he knocked over his music stand. The sheet music
scattered. As he stood in front of his orchestra, his worst fear was realized; it was
the bottom of the 9th, no score and the basses were loaded. 😳😳😎

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I have no legs. I have no legs. I have no legs. I have no legs. May God bless you. I have no legs…”

Answer: Kids!
“Kids” is a hard hitting tale about the lives of teenagers, sex, and drugs. Unsympathetically, these kids steal from stores, start fights where the whole herd joins in, and basically roll the dice of life. In one of the few heart felt moments in “Kids”, a man with no legs was pushing himself along the floor of the subway car on a skateboard saying this quote. Casper, one of the main characters and not a really nice guy, showed his heart and gave the man some money. Casper followed that up with a “God bless you” in return to the man.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“My brother is in a wheel chair because of a freak accident as a kid. One day we were playing touch football and he fell off the roof.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Hans Ernest Froopaloop, Jr. will marry one of three women: Audrey, Brenda, and Charlotte.
Here are some facts:

1. Of Audrey and Brenda:
   a. Either they both have blue eyes or neither has blue eyes.
   b. One has red hair and the other does not.
2. Of Audrey and Charlotte:
   a. Either they both have red hair or neither has red hair.
   b. One is 5’11” and the other is not.
3. Of Brenda and Charlotte:
   a. One has blue eyes and the other does not.
   b. One is 5’11” and the other is not.
4. Of the three characteristics; blue eyes, red hair and 5’11”:
   a. If any of the three women has exactly two of the three characteristics, Mr. Froopaloop will marry the one with the least number of characteristics.
   b. If any of the three women has exactly one of the three characteristics, Mr. Froopaloop will marry the one with the greatest number of characteristics.

Who will Mr. Froopaloop marry?

ANSWER: Mr. Froopaloop will marry Charlotte.
Facts 1a and 3a tell us that Charlotte is either the only one with blue eyes or the only one without blue eyes. Facts 1b and 2a tell us that Brenda is either the only one with red hair or the only one without red hair. Facts 2b and 3b tell us that Charlotte is either the only one who is 5’11” or the only one who isn’t 5’11”. Fact 4 tells us that no one woman can have one characteristic while another has two characteristics. This gives us two scenarios:

1. Audrey has blue eyes, does not have red hair, and is 5’11”. Brenda has blue eyes, red hair, and is 5’11”. Charlotte does not have blue eyes, does not have red hair, and is not 5’11”.
2. Audrey does not have blue eyes, has red hair, and is not 5’11”. Brenda does not have blue eyes, does not have red hair, and is not 5’11”. Charlotte has blue eyes, red hair, and is 5’11”.
   Fact 4a tells us that in scenario 1, Mr. Froopaloop will marry Charlotte. Fact 4b tells us that in scenario 2, Mr. Froopaloop will marry…Charlotte.

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make
a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’
from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Inks – Tiles
2. Ride – Relive
3. Gaze – Freed
4. Snail – Pike
5. Snag – Cold

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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