WELCOME to THURSDAY October 19. 2023
You’re in big trouble…..
I JUST KNEW I WAS IN BIG TROUBLE AT WORK WHEN…
…the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me.
…the Security guard made a complete inventory of my work area.
…my assistant began responding to my memos with, “Yeah, whatever.”
…I got a “It’s for you loser” wav receiving e-mail, & not a chime.
…my new Pentium was replaced with an 386sx-16 last weekend.
…the Human Resources Dept requested an update of my arrest record.
…the Boss asked if I still had a copy of my 5 year contract.
…I noticed co-workers measuring my office when I arrived at work.
…my parking spot was relocated next to the dumpster.
…my secretary sez things like “Get the phone, my nails aren’t dry.”
…three people began helping me write a “desk manual” for my job.
…the LAN suddenly began backing-up my computer every 10 minutes.
…a large paper recycling box was placed next to my file cabinets.
…the receptionist began saying “Who ???” to anyone calling on m
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
Lucy: “There’s just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.”
Fred: “Your feet?”
—Lucy (Lucille Ball) and Fred Mertz (William Frawley),I Love Lucy
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people
who need it most never use it.”
—Anonymous
Coach: “How’s a beer sound, Norm?”
Norm: “I don’t know, I usually finish before they get a word in.”
—Coach (Nicholas Colasanto) and Norm (George Wendt), Cheers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer
who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named “T-Square”, and he
told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which the dog
did with no sweat. The accountant said he thought his dog was better. His dog was named
“Slide Rule”. He told him to fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back, and divide them into
piles of three, which he did with no problem. The chemist said that was good, but he felt
his dog was better. His dog “Measure” was told to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces
into a ten-ounce glass. The dog did this with no problem.
All three men agreed this was very good and that their dogs were equally smart. They all turned
to the union member and said, “What can your dog do?”. The Teamster called his dog whose
name was “Coffee Break” and said, “Show the fellows what you can do”. Coffee Break went over
and ate the cookies, drank the milk, went to the bathroom on the paper, claimed he injured his
back while eating, filed a grievance for unsafe working conditions,
applied for Workmen’s Compensation and left for home on sick leave. 😳😳😳😎
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
In which movie would you hear this? “I may play ball next fall, but I will never sign that.
Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer.”
Answer: Dazed and Confused!
“Dazed and Confused” is a movie that features the new incoming freshmen and the seniors that want to haze them. Set in the ’70s, the film is about these kids coming to grips with growing up and the shenanigans that go along with it. Randall Floyd, quarterback of the football team, said this quote to the coach. Coach wanted the team to sign a contract to show their “commitment” to the team. Floyd, being a person of his own mind, wanted to play ball on his own terms.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’m a ghost ghost ghost ghost ghost ghost ghost.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
A farmer challenges an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician to fence off the
largest amount of area using the least amount of fence.
The engineer made his fence in a circle and said it was the most efficient.
The physicist made a long line and said that the length was infinite. Then he said that fencing half of the Earth was the best.
The mathematician laughed at the others and with his design, beat the others. What did he do?
ANSWER: The mathematician made a small fence around himself and declared himself to be on the outside.
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
In English, “re” is a prefix usually meaning “again”, such as in “rebuild” (build again).
However, there are many words starting with “re” which have a totally different meaning without the “re”.
You will be given two definitions, one for a word starting with “re”, and one for the remaining
word without the “re” (either definition could be given first).
Example: vehicle wheel / cease employment
Answer: tire / retire
- newspaper employee / hotel employee
- one who belongs / bring past event to mind
- unit of money / not long ago
- money for the poor / kingdoms
- income / event location
- couple / fix
- arrived at / felt long-term pain
- at ease / cause sharp pain
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 