WELCOME to MONDAY October 23. 2023
Here’s The Story……
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next
to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks
“And get me a whisky you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky
for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls
“And get me another whisky you idiot”. Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking
with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot’s approach “I’ve asked
you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I’ll kick you”.
The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out
of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns
to him and says “For someone who can’t fly, you complain too much!” 😳😳😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone
suddenly loves grapes and a week’s worth are eaten in one afternoon, or
fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas.”
—Lessons from the Minivan
“I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.”
—Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons), The Big Bang Theory
“There are only three ages for women in Hollywood:
babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy.”
—Elise (Goldie Hawn), The First Wives Club
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery
early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue
workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that
number to climb as digging continues into the evening 😳😳😳😎
Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Yeah… and we’re grown-ups. We don’t argue over seats. Now go sit over there. There are plenty of empty seats there.”
Answer: Slackers!
“Slackers” is about three friends who help each other cheat their way through school. Their system was flawless until one of them got sloppy and fell in love. This quote, as said by the head teaching assistant Philip, set the story for the entire movie. Ethan got up from his seat in class. He returned to see the lead character Dave was now in his seat. Ethan began to tell Dave that he was in his seat. Philip, who wants no talking, said this line to Ethan who became enraged at Dave. After the class, Ethan would find that Dave was cheating, and he would blackmail him and his friends if they didn’t help him get the girl he liked.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Ok. Can we order lunch first?”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
A man in a restaurant asked a waiter for a juice glass, a dinner plate, water, a match, and a
lemon wedge. The man poured enough water onto the plate to cover it.
“If you can get the water on the plate into this glass without touching or moving this plate,
I will give you $100,” the man said. “You can use the match and lemon to do this.”
A few minutes later, the waiter walked away with $100 in his pocket.
How did the waiter get the water into the glass?
ANSWER: First, the waiter stuck the match into the lemon wedge, so that it would stand straight. Then he lit the match, and put it in the middle of the plate with the lemon. Then, he placed the glass upside-down over the match. As the flame used up the oxygen in the glass, it created a small vacuum, which sucked in the water through the space between the glass and the plate. Thus, the waiter got the water into the glass without touching or moving the plate. You can try this experiment at home with appropriate supervision.
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Hans Ernest Froopaloop, Jr. will marry one of three women: Audrey, Brenda, and Charlotte. Here are some facts:
- Of Audrey and Brenda:
a. Either they both have blue eyes or neither has blue eyes.
b. One has red hair and the other does not. - Of Audrey and Charlotte:
a. Either they both have red hair or neither has red hair.
b. One is 5’11” and the other is not. - Of Brenda and Charlotte:
a. One has blue eyes and the other does not.
b. One is 5’11” and the other is not. - Of the three characteristics; blue eyes, red hair and 5’11”:
a. If any of the three women has exactly two of the three characteristics, Mr. Froopaloop will marry the one with the least number of characteristics.
b. If any of the three women has exactly one of the three characteristics, Mr. Froopaloop will marry the one with the greatest number of characteristics.
Who will Mr. Froopaloop marry?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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