WELCOME to MONDAY October 28. 2023
Here’s The Story……
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
Doctor: I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!
Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. [dramatic pause]
Hi George. Say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?
George: Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse
from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.
The group was silent for a moment.
Pastor: That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.
Doctor: Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see
if there’s anything he can do for them.
Engineer: Why can’t these guys play at night? 😳😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet,
I wouldn’t be more surprised.” —Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase),
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
“There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t
like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.”
—Dowager Countess Violet Crawley (Maggie Smith), Downton Abbey
“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”
—Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey), Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both
men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of
them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see
if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back.
His boss asks what the problem is. “Well one of those women is my wife and the
other my mistress,” complained Joe. Phil just shook his head at Joe and started
toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the
ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around.
Joe asked “what’s wrong?” It’s a small, small world Joe, and you’re fired” 😳😳
Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Oh I see, so you’re going to a cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian.”
Answer: The Birdcage!
The scene for this quote takes place as Armand (Williams) approaches Albert (Nathan Lane) as he is sitting at a bus bench after leaving him. Albert feels that he has been slighted by not being included as a family member for Val’s (Dan Futterman) wedding party.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“$608 dollars for the scooter your son trashed. That’s what you owe, and we’re NOT turnin’ ourselves in ’til we get it. Fair is fair!”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
In this teaser, you have to find the odd ones out in the groups of words. BUT WAIT! There’s a catch.
Each group of words has TWO words which do not belong. Can you find them both?
EXAMPLE:
Lily – Jane – Tulip – Rose
Jane does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a flower.
Tulip also does not belong because it’s the only one which is not a girl’s name.
You’re on your own for the rest!
- Dodge – Ford – Lincoln – Hoover
- King – Earl – Knight – Bishop
- Yellow – Green – Dead – Black
ANSWER: 1. Hoover does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a car manufacturer. Dodge does not belong as it’s the only one which is not the last name of a President of USA.
- Bishop does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a class of nobility. Earl does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a Chess piece.
- Dead does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a color. Green does not belong as it’s the only one which is not the name of a sea.
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Inside each set of the following words, there are a pair of smaller words. By putting
& between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example,
“Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”
- Skyrocketing/Trolleyman
- Thermometer/Apoplexy
- Delaware/Bordering
- Surprised/Trashiness
- Throughout/Stumblebum
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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