WELCOME to TUESDAY November 6. 2023
Here’s The Story……
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes
up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it? Death. What’s that…a bonus?
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
(1) You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up
in a an old age home, feeling better every day.
(2) You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you
start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
(3) You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol,
you party, play golf, you’re generally promiscuous (hey, you’ve only got a few years left,
what’s the big deal?!?) and you get ready for High School.
(4) Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities,
and, finally, you become a baby;
(5) The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central
heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday! 😳😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A Japanese company created a $150 noise-canceling ramen fork to cover up
slurping noises. So, if you’ve got 150 bucks to spend on a fork –
why are you eating ramen?” -Jimmy Fallon
“A fast food restaurant in Australia is celebrating Halloween by offering a hamburger
in a blue bun, sprinkled with real ants and worms. Or as Arby’s calls that, ‘The No. 6.'” -Conan O’Brien
“Amazon is introducing a new service called Amazon Key, which will allow delivery
men to open your front door and put packages directly inside your house. I don’t
have a joke here. I just wanted to tell you how you’re going to be murdered.
Sleep tight, folks.” -James Corden
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My wife and I were going through a rough patch financially, but we kept
ourselves sane by repeating, “As long as we have each other, we don’t need anything else.”
But when the television in our bedroom broke and we couldn’t afford to repair or replace it, my wife lost it.
“That’s just great!” she shouted. “Now there’s no entertainment in our bedroom at all!” 😳😳😎
Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“The undead surround me. Have you ever talked to a corpse? It’s boring! I’m lonely!
Kill yourself, David, before you kill others.”
Answer: An American Werewolf in London!
The scene for this quote takes place as the living dead and decomposing Jack (Dunne) pleads with David (David Naughton) to kill himself, to end the werewolves’ bloodline so that he won’t kill any more innocent people. Jack also wants David to do this so that he can rest in peace.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn’t imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make
a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’
from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.
- Burn – Bead
- Rid – Tripe
- Grove – Rout
- Charm – Rush
- Cream – Sweep
ANSWER: 1. Bun – Bread
- Ride – Trip
- Groove – Rut
- Harm – Crush
- Scream – Weep
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
The blanks in the following sentences will be filled in with three different homonyms (words that are spelled differently but sound alike) to make valid sentences. The dashes indicate the number of letters in the words. Can you fill in the blanks?
- The cut on his _ _ _ _ won’t _ _ _ _ in time for the race, so _ _ ‘_ _ have to drop out.
- The man was so upset about being _ _ _ _ that he regularly _ _ _ _ _ _ himself up on the bed and _ _ _ _ _ _ his eyes out.
- I couldn’t _ _ _ _ _ any of the _ _ _ _ _ _ in the flower shop, because for some strange reason I had 50 _ _ _ _ _ crammed up my nose.
- A bloodthirsty pirate will wander the _ _ _ _ and essentially _ _ _ _ _ everything he _ _ _ _.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 