WELCOME to THURSDAY November 16. 2023
You might be a college student if . . .
- If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student.
- If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
- If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.
- If you have ever written a check for 45 cents.
- If you have a fine collection of domestic beer bottles.
- If you have ever seen two consectutive sunrises without sleeping.
- If your glass set is composed of McDonald’s Extra Value Meal Plastic Cups (ie.Olympic Dream Team I or II).
- If your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.
- If you cannot remember when you last washed your car.
- If you can pack your worldly possesions into the back of a pick-up (one trip).
- If you have ever had to justify yourself for buying Natural Light.
- If the first thing you do in the morning is roll over and introduce yourself.
- If you average less than 3 hours of sleep a night.
- If your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t
- If you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week
- If you eat at the cafeteria because it’s “free”, even though it tastes terrible.
- If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy
- If you wake up 10 minutes before class
- If you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row — without washing them
- If your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to class
- If your social life consists of a date with the library
- If your idea of “doing your hair” is putting on a baseball cap
- If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room
- If you carry less than a dollar on you at all times because that’s all you have
- If you haven’t done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to class
- If your midnight snack is microwave popcorn
- If you celebrate when you find a quarter
- If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over
- If your walls are plastered with posters of half naked men or women (whichever your preference)
- If you have built up a tolerence for beverages (he he he)
- If you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itself
- If your backpack is giving you Scoliosis
- If you get more sleep in class than in your room
- If your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles
- If you can sleep through your roommate’s blaring stereo
- If you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes
- If you get more e-mail than mail. 😳😳😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“I never forget a face—but in your case,
I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
—Groucho Marx
“Here’s something to think about: How come you
never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”
—Jay Leno
“A day without sunshine is like,
you know, night.”
—Steve Martin
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk.
One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms–so
much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident
going into the final that the weekend before finals week, despite the Chemistry final being
on Monday, they decided to go to the University of Virginia to party with some friends.
They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and tiredness, they overslept
all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking
the final then, they found professor Bonk after the final and explained to him how they missed
the final. They told him they went up to the University of Virgina for the weekend and had planned
to come back in time to study, but they had a flat tire on the way back and didn’t have a spare.
They couldn’t fix it for a long time and were late getting back to campus.
Bonk thought this over and agreed that they could take the final the following day. The two guys,
elated and relieved, studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them.
He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet. He told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem which was something simple about molarity and solutions; it was
worth 5 points. “Cool,” they thought, “this is going to be an easy final”. They then turned the page.
They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on it.
The question contained only two words: (95 points) Which tire? 😳😳😳😎
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Well, she turned me into a newt! [meekly after a long pause] … I got better.”
Answer: Monty Python and the Holy Grail!
The scene for this quote takes place as several peasants claim that the woman they have captured is a witch and demand that she be burned. Cleese, as one of the peasants, offers this testimony as to what witch like behavior the suspect has performed.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Don’t write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. He’s a little bit long-winded, he doesn’t translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible. But that doesn’t relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I’m waiting for reports from some of you… Listen, I’m not joking. This is my job!”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Some people’s names (such as “Will Power”) suggest a certain personality or career choice. Given below are some last names and professions (in no particular order). For each last name, your task is to think of a common first name, such that it suggests one of the given professions. Each last name and profession must be used just once.
Example: Sonny Day would suggest a meteorologist.
Last Names: Ding, Flay, King, Lynn, Payne, Peace
Professions: Musician, Author, Chef, Comedian, Architect, Politician
The hint provides the first names.
ANSWER: Bill Ding – Architect (building)
Sue Flay – Chef (souffle)
Joe King – Comedian (joking)
Amanda Lynn – Musician (a mandolin) [also: Vi Lynn = violin]
Cam Payne – Politician (campaign)
Warren Peace – Author (“War and Peace”)
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Follow these steps and see if you can figure this out.
1) Get a brown, cardboard box.
2) Get purple, orange, and turquoise paints.
3) Paint the box orange.
4) Paint on purple spots.
5) Paint on turquoise stripes.
7) Turn it upside down.
8) Lie on your side.
What is missing from this sequence?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
The World According to the Eucman! 