WELCOME to WEDNESDAY November 22. 2023
The following are only learned from college
- Quarters are like gold.
- Be creative in the dining hall.
- Flipflops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc.
- You will never find so many excuses for a bucket.
- Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.
- New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry’s, Ho-Hos and Oreos
- Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.
- Duct tape heals all wounds. (If not, scotch or masking tape will suffice for awhile.)
- Showers become less important.
- Sleep becomes more important.
- Two meals a day are standard. One for some!
- Recycling becomes synonomous with laundry (“Oh, my jeans can last until Christmas..
.there’s only a little bit of mud on them…”). - You can never make too many meals in a hot pot (or pizelle maker).
- 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class (not that this is anything really new).
- Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before.
- It takes more than one person to carry your laundry, books, trash, or alcohol.
- If the lecture hall is big enough, get someone else’s notes.
- You begin to nap again (also not new).
- Your bill in the bookstore will almost equal tuition.
- Isn’t it amazing that the book your professor wrote is always required for his class?
- Labs used to be fun.
- T.A. used to stand for teaching assistant, now, for terribly articulated.
- Squirt guns equal stress relief.
- E-mail becomes your second language.
- Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies.
- Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they’re a Godsend.
- You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
- You never realized so many people are dumber than you.
- Professors are like celebrities: you see them, but they never see you.
- Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and you’d never know,
but you could recite last week’s episode of “Friends” verbatim.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Finally, I saw that Starbucks just unveiled its holiday cups, which had illustrations
that customers can color in themselves. It’s perfect for people who are too busy
to make their own coffee at home, yet still have enough
time to color in a coffee cup.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Amazon has unveiled a new way to view its products in 3-D. Amazon
is calling its new invention a ‘store.'” -Conan O’Brien
“Every appliance with a clock should have a Daylight Savings button to
push. You’d only use it twice a year, but that’s more than I use the
‘Potato’ button on my microwave.” -Jimmy Kimmel
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help.
One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing
field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.
Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?”
The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”
“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie! 😳😳
Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I forgot how to breathe! Don’t know how to breathe! Help me, Doctor Cockroach! Help! Help!”
Answer: “Monsters Vs. Aliens” is about a group of monsters who are chosen by the president of the USA to fight off an alien robot. The movie stars Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen, Hugh Laurie and Will Arnett. B.O.B. says this to Susan when we first meet him, after we learn that he doesn’t have a brain and he explains that he doesn’t need one and that they’re overrated. B.O.B. is just a blob of goo which makes him indestructible. As you’ve already learned he doesn’t have a brain so he’s as stupid as a stump – he even tried to date lime Jello.
But just because he doesn’t have a brain doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need to breathe. B.O.B. forgets how to breathe, he doesn’t have a brain so he can’t remember things, so he says this and then Dr. Cockroach says “Suck in.” So B.O.B. sucks in a breath and then says “Thanks doc, you’re a life saver.”.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Is it snowing in space?”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
BARD
BARN
BARE
ANSWER: end up behind bars
The word “END” is spelled in an upward direction behind three occurrences of the word “BAR”.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
The first is needed to make quotes you see,
And it often sticks up when it’s time for noon tea.
The second’s biggest distinction is found
Bearing the symbol of love that is bound.
The third should be biggest but that can depend,
Never standing alone or it may offend.
The fourth is oft used when making a selection
Or if you should need a gun for protection.
The fifth is the fattest and oddest by far,
And can sometimes be found in a wrestling war.
What are they?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
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