WELCOME to MONDAY December 18. 2023

Here’s The Story…..
A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch.
So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising
his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance.
But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed
the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to
check it out himself. Then he understood why!
The boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into the 3 words :
Psycho-
the-
rapist. 😳😳😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The worst part of online shopping is having to get
up and get your credit card from your purse.”
—Anonymous

“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to
connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want
to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
—Betty White

“My therapist says I’m afraid of success. I guess I
could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my
potential would really cut into my sitting-around time.”
—Maria Bamford

“From the ages of eight to 18, me and my family moved
around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally
one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
—Jarod Kintz

“Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle
for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”
—Dorothy Parker

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered
a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.
The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied,
“Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?” The doctor inquired of
Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, “Oh. He’s my friend,
but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a lightbulb.” The doctor looks up and
notices Patient #2’s face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient #1, “If he’s your friend, you should get him down
from there before he hurts himself”
Patient #1 replies, “What? And work in the dark?” 😳😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Taking dinosaurs off this island is the worst idea in the long sad history of bad ideas
and I’m gonna be there when you learn that.”

Answer: Jurassic Park: The Lost World!
This movie is set on the fictional island of Isla Sorna.
Scientist Ian Malcolm says this line to Peter Ludlow when he learns of InGen’s plan to
remove some of the dinosaurs from the island by shipping them to mainland America.
Unfortunately, InGen goes ahead with its plan, taking the male T-Rex and its offspring
to San Deigo, where things don’t quite go according to plan. (Ludlow is eventually killed by the baby Rex.)

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don’t have plaque!”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Some people’s names (such as “Will Power”) suggest a certain personality or career choice. Given below are some last names and professions (in no particular order). For each last name, your task is to think of a common first name, such that it suggests one of the given professions. Each last name and profession must be used just once.
Example: Sonny Day would suggest a meteorologist.
Last Names: Ball, King, Major, Mee, Soares, Turner
Professions: Paleontologist, Author, Musician, Plumber, Astrologer, Lawyer
The hint provides the first names.

ANSWER: Crystal Ball – Astrologer (crystal ball)
Dinah Soares – Paleontologist (dinosaurs)
Paige Turner – Author (page turner)
Dee Major – Musician (D Major)
Lee King – Plumber (leaking)
Sue Mee – Lawyer (sue me)

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) a lock’s companion and a bright-colored tropical bird & a vegetable and a vegetable
2) a chilly tome & a courageous chef
3) a mournful song & a spoiled cold dish of vegetables served with dressing
4) an excavation of an underground ore deposit in Geneva & the winner of a beauty pageant sponsored by pig farmers

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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