WELC0ME to MONDAY January 8. 2023

Here’s The Story……
A dog lover, whose dog was ‘in heat’ agreed to look after her
neighbor’s male dog while they were away on holiday.
She had a large house and believed that she could keep them apart,
but as she was drifting off to sleep one night, she heard awful howling
sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together,
in obvious stress and unable to disengage, as can sometimes happen when they mate.
She was unable to separate them and was worried as what to do next. Although
it was late at night, she called the Vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
Having explained the problem to him, the Vet advised, “Hang up the phone and place
it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the sound of the ringing will
make the male lose his erection and be able to withdraw.”
“Do you think that will work?” she asked doubtfully.
“Why not? It just did for me.” He replied. 😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new study came out and it claims that women would be better
off going to bed two hours before men. The study was paid
for by guys who want to watch porn.”
–Conan O’Brien

“Clothes make the man. Naked people
have little or no influence in society.”
–Mark Twain

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A student asked his English professor, “What is the definition of a dilemma?”
The professor said, “Well, there’s nothing better than an example to illustrate that.
“Imagine that you are lying naked in a big bed, flat on your back with a beautiful
naked young woman on one side, and a horny naked gay man on the other.
“Now, which one are you going to turn your back on?” 😳😳😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
.if what you say is true, it could be dangerous.

Answer: Shaolin and Wu Tang!
This quote comes from (The Manchu Prince) Wang Lung Wei while he is talking to his servant. He explains that if both The Wu Tang and Shaolin join together, they could overthrow his plans of taking over China. He holds a tournament between the Shaolin and the Wu Tang so they can kill each other. Once his plot is found out, Gordon and Adam team up together to defeat him. They both then have to return to the temple and become monks in the end.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
‘Teacher says that if we keep the Snakes’ head and tail apart, he can be beaten’.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Emperor Akbar once ruled over India. He was a wise and intelligent ruler, and he had in his court the Nine Gems, his nine advisors, who were each known for a particular skill. One of these Gems was Birbal, known for his wit and wisdom. The story below is one of the examples of his wit. Do you have it in you to find out the answer?

Once Akbar challenged Birbal. He asked Birbal to write a line on the wall which when read in happy times makes you sad but when read in sad times makes you happy.
What would he have written to satisfy the conditions given by his king?

ANSWER: Birbal wrote, “This time will pass soon.”
When read in happy times, you will feel sad that the good times will end.
When read in sad times, you will have hope that the situation will improve, making you happy.
It’s a fact of life that there will be high points and low points. It can help deal with the difficult times knowing that they will pass, and appreciate the good times while you have them, knowing that they won’t last forever. Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had. Abraham Lincoln is known to have included this idea in one of his speeches, “And this, too, shall pass away.”
“When life is good, enjoy it. But when life is hard, remember: God gives good times and hard times, and no one knows what tomorrow will bring.” (Ecclesiastes 7:14)

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
** or Hyphen-Word Hunt! **
Some English words are usually paired with a hyphen. The rules for this are interesting to browse, and some word pairs can even be correctly written in three different ways – e.g. playgroup, play group, or play-group.
This teaser invites you find a commonly hyphenated word-pair inside a pair of words.
e.g. undisCLOSEd – cUPbearer gives us CLOSE-UP

CLUES

1. Drunken – King
2. Proliferate – Synthesizer
3. Pothole – Dehumidifier
4. Superclean – Prosecutor
   … and a triple!
5. Acknowledge – Excited – Footballer

Meanings or synonyms are provided in the Hint below, but be careful – these might make it too easy.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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