WELC0ME to WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 7. 2024
Doesn’t It Annoy You When…
…there’s a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the
owner is nowhere to be found?
…you buy an answering machine so you won’t miss any calls,
and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?
…there’s a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to
drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?
…you’re reading a magazine and all those annoying
little subscription cards keep falling out?
…you tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it
anyway, like it’ll magically open for them and not you.
…someone says, “well, to make a long story short” and then
they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.
…a friend or family member says “Yuck! This is awful!!”
and then tells you to try some.
…you have to inform five different sales people in the
same store that you’re just looking around.
…you rub on hand cream and can’t turn the bathroom
doorknob to get out.
…a waiter or waitress is not around at any time other
than right after you put food in your mouth.
…your tire gauge lets half the air in your tire when all
you want is a pressure reading.
…there’s a dog in your neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
…the power goes out, and you discover every
flashlight you have has dead batteries.
…someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket
and writes a check or uses a credit card.
…the elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.
…you almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don’t,
your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Helen Hunt posted a photo on Twitter to show that her Starbucks barista wrote ‘Jody’ on
her cup because she thought she was Jodie Foster. Meanwhile, Jodie Foster is still at that
same Starbucks going, ‘Where the hell is my damn coffee? What is TAKING so long?!'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Because of the bad U.S. economy, many Broadway producers have started taking their
musicals to China. In a related story, the entire cast of ‘Cats’ has been eaten.” -Conan O’Brien
“A study found that one minute of intense exercise may have the same physical benefits as 45
minutes of moderate exercise. So finally, a study that vindicates my wedding night,
ladies and gentlemen.” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Cards You Will Never See In Hallmark
“Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.”
“How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?”
“I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.”
“I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you.”
“Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: What was I thinking?”
“As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you’re not here to ruin it for me.”
“As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you’ve given me. Like the need for therapy…”
“Thanks for being a part of my life!!!I never knew what evil was before this!”
“Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take this knife
out of my back. You’ll probably need it again.”
“Someday I hope to get married, but not to you.”😳
Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“The fat CARETAKER, he knows. Eyes always watching.”
Answer: “The Two Towers”
This one is taken from the middle segment, “The Two Towers”, with Gollum’s dual personalities discussing whether he/they should trust the hobbits or not.
It is spoken by the “good” Smeagol personality as an argument why the “evil” Gollum should not try anything dishonest on Frodo. The distrust between Sam and Gollum is mutual and runs very deep.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“We’ll always have PARIS”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Using real names to make common words/phrases, name the offspring: (the first one is free!)
- Mr and Mrs Voyant – Clare (as in Clairvoyant)
- Mr and Mrs Tress
- Mr and Mrs Nasium
- Mr and Mrs Tate
- Mr and Mrs Anthemum
- Mr and Mrs Mander
- Mr and Mrs Mite
- Mr and Mrs Time
ANSWER: 2. Matt
- Jim
- Dick
- Chris
- Sally
- Dinah
- Justin
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?
1) overweight dam builder & symptom of a sick flying mammal
2) bottom of the ocean & an insect-bitten dog has this
3) a cooking utensil & a nosy admirer
4) the person in charge of clocks and watches & the result of exposing silent actors to the sun
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
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The World According to the Eucman! 