WELC0ME to TUESDAY FEBRUARY 18. 2024
How Cold Is Cold?
60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
50 Miami residents turn on the heat
40 You can see your breath, Californians shiver
uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming
35 Italian cars don’t start
32 Water freezes
30 You plan your vacation to Australia
25 Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably,
Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming
20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City
water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further South
15 French cars don’t start, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10 You need jumper cables to get the car going
5 American cars don’t start
0 Alaskans put on T-shirts
-10 German cars don’t start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink
-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick
tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist
-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something
about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don’t start
-25 Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get the driver going
-30 You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don’t start
-40 Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on
sweaters, Your car helps you plan your trip South
-50 Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window
-80 Hell freezes over, Polar bears move South
-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
A dreamer is one who can find his way only by moonlight and
his punishment is that he sees the dawn before
the rest of the world. – Oscar Wilde
We know what we are, but know not
what we may be. – William Shakespeare
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone
else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation. – Oscar Wilde
To become what one is, one must not have the
faintest idea what one is. – Friedrich Nietzsche
Self-knowledge is not knowledge but a story
one tells about oneself. – Simone De Beauvoir
We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are.
Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting
history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our
future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it’s our
job to invent something better. – Chuck Palahniuk
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Things You Wouldn’t Know Without The Tube All Of Life’s Mysteries Are On TV
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing
St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.
All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level
on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking
for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
You’re likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing
someone a picture of you sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary
to speak the language. A German accent will do.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Sometimes, when I see how silly people behave, I’m glad I’m a camel.”
Answer: Road to Morocco
Said by the female camel (Mabel) to the male camel. He responds that he is glad she’s a camel too. There were seven “Road” pictures starring Bing Crosby and Bob Hope in total. Five of the movies were made from 1940 – 1947, with one in 1952 and one in 1962. “Road to Morocco” was the third movie in the series and was released in 1942.
The first movie from 1940 was “Road to Singapore” and the final movie was “Road to Hong Kong” in 1962. Dorothy Lamour was also in all of the “Road” pictures. This one wasn’t filmed in Morocco at all, rather they shot at Paramount Studios in California and Arizona was used for the desert scenes.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I speak over two thousand languages, including Dodo and Unicorn. I had a classical education.”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
These word pairs are not in relation to each other, but if you find their synonyms, the two words will rhyme.
Example : Over-sized Feline = Fat Cat
Kiss Dog
Funny Cat
Movie Monster
Unusual Rabbit
Copper Teapot
Wedding Limo
Untamed Minor
ANSWER: 1. Owed -> Wed
- Open -> Pen
- Ovary -> Vary
- Orange -> Range
- Olive -> Live
- Ozone -> Zone
- Omission -> Mission
- Oration -> Ration
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
What phrase is represented by the following?
a) 1/2 = 05
b) six percent = 006
c) four and a half = 45
d) pi = approximately 314
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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