WELC0ME to FRIDAY FEBRUARY 23. 2024
THE WOMAN’S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK
Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman
because the house was spotless.
Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers.
What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
So many men – so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
If they can put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all there.
Tell him you’re not his type – you have a pulse.
Never let your man’s mind wander – its too little to be left out alone.
Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature anyway.
Never marry a man for money. You’ll have to earn every penny.
Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him check books.
Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
If he asks you if you if you’re faking it tell him no, you’re just practicing.
When he asks you if he’s your first tell him, “You may be, you look familiar.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“So many homophobes turn out to be secretly gay themselves, that I’m starting
to worry that I’m really a giant spider.” Unknown Facebook post
“A new company is offering customers a chance to cut their hotel bills in half if
they are willing to share their room with a stranger. The company is called Jose Cuervo.” -Seth Meyers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers. One day
his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired
skill. He told the uncle to ask him and addition question. So they uncle asked,
“What is three plus four?”
The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, “Seven.”
The uncle said, “Listen kid, you cant count it out on your hands because someday
when you are in school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets.”
So the little boy put his hands in his pockets and his uncle asked, “What is five plus five?”
After a few moments of intense concentration the boy said, “Eleven.” 😳😳
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Grasshopper? Look here, you – you impudent young pup! It wouldn’t hurt you to take orders
from your grasshop – er, your conscience, if you have one!”
Answer: Jiminy Cricket!
The classic Disney animated feature “Pinocchio” made in 1940. The quote is said after a character from the movie, Lampwick, makes fun of the main character Pinocchio for having Jiminy as a conscience. His top hat, tailored suit and umbrella certainly make give him a gentlemanly appearance and as the conscience of Pinocchio he upholds that part, except when he gets exasperated when folks do things like call him a grasshopper.
In “Mickey’s Christmas Carol” he can been seen as the ghost of Christmas past. Cliff Edwards provided the voice of Jiminy and he was uncredited!
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Evil does not wear a bonnet!”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Some anagrams are almost too good to be true. The letters in the capitalised words or phrases can be
rearranged in delightful ways to fill the gaps!
e.g. Is my lovely _ really a WOMAN HITLER?
Answer: mother-in-law
- The _ Church can be BEST IN PRAYER.
- The school bully gave his victim NINE THUMPS as a _.
- Someone with BAD CREDIT can still manage to pay with a _.
- If you missed it last time, keep waiting, for _ SHALL YET COME!
- Perhaps because _ could be a NICE SILKY WOMAN, a president fell for her!
Warning! The hint will give you the starting letters of all words. It will make the teaser quite easy, so only check if really necessary!
ANSWER: 1. Presbyterian
- Punishment
- Debit Card
- Halley’s Comet
- Monica Lewinsky
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Complete the words below using three consecutive letters in alphabetical order, e.g. _ _ A _ U S; add A B and C it would become ABACUS.
- F _ _ R I _,
- T H I _ _ _,
- A _ U _ _ A,
- _ _ _ I N E,
- A _ _ _ T E,
- _ _ _ A C K.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 