WELC0ME to MONDAY FEBRUARY 26. 2024
You Are No Longer “Cool” When
You find yourself listening to talk radio.
You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.
The pattern on your shorts and couch match.
You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.
You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged man gets
a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old girlfriend.
You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting
that you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.
You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining it.
You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.
When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.
When jogging is something you do to your memory.
Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.
All the cars behind you flash their headlights.
You remember the “Rolling Stones” as a rock group not a corporation.
You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son’s new running shoes.
You actually ASK for your father’s advice.
You don’t know how to operate a fax machine.
When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“On Valentine’s Day, Americans spend $367 million on their pets. That seems like
a waste. You don’t need to wine and dine your dog. Either way,
he’s going to hump your leg.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“There’s a new report that says more than half of American workers didn’t use all
their vacation days last year. They had them, they just didn’t take them. So the
people who did the study asked why. Some said they did it to impress their boss
with their work ethic. The rest said, I hate my family.” -Jimmy Kimmel
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
I was in a pub last Saturday night, and after drinking a few I noticed two very
robust-looking women at the bar. They both had pretty strong accents,
so I asked, “Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?”
One of them snapped back, saying, “It’s Wales, you idiot!”
I immediately apologized. “I’m sorry,” I said, “are you two whales from Ireland?”😳😳
Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Evil does not wear a bonnet!”
Answer: Mr Tinkles
Mr Tinkles voiced by Sean Hayes (“Will & Grace”) was the evil white cat in “Cats & Dogs”, who planned to take over the world by making all humans allergic to dogs. Brought into his master’s bedchamber wearing a frilly pink bonnet, when the maid leaves, he rips it off, and utters this line.
Why are evil cats in films always white Persians? Ernst Stavro Blofeld (from James Bond films) has a lot to answer for.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Oh and it is lovely. You know, you’re really quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such
a modest budget. I like that boulder, that is a nice boulder”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Complete the words below using three consecutive letters in alphabetical
order, e.g. _ _ A _ U S; add A B and C it would become ABACUS.
- F _ _ R I _,
- T H I _ _ _,
- A _ U _ _ A,
- _ _ _ I N E,
- A _ _ _ T E,
- _ _ _ A C K.
ANSWER: 1. Fabric,
- Thirst,
- Alumna,
- Define,
- Astute,
- Hijack.
Monday’s Quizzler is….
When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.
- Adoration -> Elevate
- Indulge in -> Permit
- Den -> Atmosphere
- Precipitation -> Current time
- Morally pure -> Swift action
- Prize -> Person under protection
- Head covering -> City related
- Most plump -> Provide evidence for
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 