WELC0ME to MONDAY APRIL 22. 2024
Here’s The Story….
A pretty young blonde stood at the bank cashier’s window and smiled.
“I’d like to cash this check, please,” she said, handing it over.
The teller examined the check and said: “Could you identify yourself, Miss?”
For a moment the lovely girl’s brow creased over, then with a bright look she
fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror, glanced in it
and with relief said, “Yes! It’s me, all right!”
The clerk said, “No Ma’am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification.”
The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of people.
“This is a recent family photo,” she explained. “That’s me, third from the left.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“This past week was Earth Science week. It’s the week you have to celebrate if
you aren’t smart enough for bio or chemistry week.” -Seth Meyers
“New research shows that China has a bigger middle class than America, and
more people in China are living what we would call the ‘American Dream.’ That’s
when you know things are bad – when even the American DREAM is made in China.” -Jimmy Fallon
“I have a strict policy. I will not and do not publicize unsubstantiated rumors
about anyone unless they’re very funny.” -Jimmy Kimmel
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat,
the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, “How does this boat float?”
The father thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father,
“How do fish breathe underwater?”
Once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”
A little later the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?”
Again, the father replied. “Don’t rightly know, son.”
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says,
“Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”
“Of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never learn anything!”
Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
An American deserter lands on the island of Borneo after escaping from the
Philippines and becomes king of a tribe of headhunters.
Answer: Farewell to the King
Escaping the debacle in the Philippines, U.S. soldier Learoyd washes up on a Borneo beach, where the Japanese capture and murder his comrades. He moves inland and is taken in by a Dayak tribe, eventually becoming their king. Three years later, in 1945, British commandos arrive in his village and the Japanese attack. Learoyd can no longer sit out WWII and must fight to protect his people.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
A divorce lawyer tells a prospective client a cautionary tale about a friend and his wife’s bitter divorce case.
Friday’s Quizzler is….
You are given five words and five definitions. Each of the words can be anagrammed
into a two word phrase that fits one of the definitions.
Your task is to assign each definition to its corresponding word.
Example – cobalt: to hit a feline in a high arc (cat lob)
Words: asterisk, broadcast, hydrate, lighthouse, pirate
Definitions:
a baked pastry filled with asphalt
a burglary committed by a ghost
high temperature, low humidity
the quantity of smooches per hour
untalented thespians
ANSWER: asterisk: the quantity of smooches per hour (kiss rate)
broadcast: untalented thespians (bad actors)
hydrate: high temperature, low humidity (dry heat)
lighthouse: a burglary committed by a ghost (ghoul heist)
pirate: a baked pastry filled with asphalt (tar pie)
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Each of the clues below describe the name of a candy. Can you name them?
Example: Galaxy would be a Milky Way.
- Sign of affection
- Favorite day for working people
- Can’t hold on to anything
- Famous swashbuckling trio
- Sun explosions
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
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The World According to the Eucman! 