WELCOME to MONDAY AUGUST 19, 2024
ENGLISH for TOURISTS
Cocktail lounge, Norway: “LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.”
On an Athi River highway: “TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.”
In a City restaurant: “OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
Hotel, Japan: “YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.”
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: “YOU ARE WELCOME TO
VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS,
AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.”
Taken from a menu, Poland: “SALAD A FIRM’S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY
DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE;
BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE’S FASHION.”
Supermarket, Hong Kong: “FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.”
From the “Soviet Weekly”: “THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000
SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.”
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: “IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO MOSCOW, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.”
A laundry in Rome: “LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL MONDAY!, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“The owner of an ice cream truck named Snow Cone Joe was arrested for allegedly stalking
his rival truck, called Mr. Ding-a-Ling. It’s being called the saddest turf war ever.” -Conan O’Brien
“A company in California has started selling a new cologne that smells like whiskey. I think
my dad’s been wearing that cologne for 40 years.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A company called Dog Nation just launched an IQ online test for your dog. It covers understanding
hand gestures and learning words. It’s actually a secret IQ test for humans.
If you pay $60 to give your dog an IQ test, you failed.” -Jimmy Kimmel
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A man was showing his friend a new set of matched golf clubs he had just bought.
“Doctor’s orders,” the man told his friend. “My wife and I have been gaining too much
weight and we went to see the doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise,
so I joined the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs.”
“What about your wife?” the friend asked. “What did you buy her?”
“A new lawn mower,” the golfer said. 😳😳
Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a male model who takes his career way too seriously.
Answer: Zoolander!
Ben Stiller plays the lead role of Derek Zoolander, a male model who takes his career way too seriously in the outrageous comedy with Owen Wilson. Will Ferrell plays the role of fashion designer Jacobim Mugatu in the 2001 R-rated comedy. After Mugatu signs Derek to star in his “Derelicte” fashion show, he brainwashes him to kill the prime minister of Malaysia.
Monday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this???
This movie is about an actor who plays the role of Carl Spackler, an eccentric lawn care worker at a fancy golf club in the 1980s.
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Can you share 1/4 of a pie, 1/3 of a pie, 1/2 of a pie, 2/3 of a pie, 3/4 of a pie,
and a whole pie so that two people have the same amount of pie without making any cuts?
If so, how?
Answer: Yes; 1/3 + 2/3 + 1/4 + 1/2 = 1 + 3/4
(Alternately 1/3 + 2/3 + 3/4 = 1 + 1/4 + 1/2)
Monday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
- Royal ruler -> Relatives; family
- Musical composition with words -> Offspring
- Musically produce words with the voice -> Transgression
- Having ambitious goals -> Fever and pain medicine
- Bird limb -> To be victorious
- Long, sharp tooth -> Enthusiastic follower
- Depending or building on something -> Container for water
- Moving up and down (in water) -> A threaded spool for sewing
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 