WELCOME to THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 5, 2024
Favorite Police Emergency Calls:
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I’ve never cooked one before.
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn…I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn….
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the police.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY!, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A couple in Michigan is being sued for $2 million after they burned
down their apartment complex while trying to cook a squirrel with a
blowtorch. I’m not an accountant, but it SOUNDS like
they might not have $2 million.” -Seth Meyers
“A man in New Orleans could be facing a life sentence for stealing $31
worth of candy from a drug store. I feel for this guy. That has got to be
a tough conversation once you’re in prison. ‘Yeah, I’m in for armed robbery
and arson, what about you?’ ‘Oh, you know, the new peanut butter Twix.'” -James Corden
“I saw that one hundred years ago this month, Albert Einstein presented
his theory of General Relativity, which explains how gravity works. And it
also marks the last time someone actually meant it when they said,
‘Way to go, Einstein.'” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks.
When they were old enough, we began letting our children say the meal
prayer. Of course at first they would ask for a pony, a new bike, etc. They
soon learned the more important things which should be included in the prayer.
At Thanksgiving we had the whole family over. My nine year old wanted to say
the prayer. It went like this: “Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for the turkey, the
rolls, the mashed potatoes, the red jiggly stuff, and the bread stuff even though
I don’t like it. We ask that You not let us choke on this food.”
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie us about a deadly extra-terrestrial being set upon the crew of a space vehicle.
Answer: Alien!
Ridley Scott’s “Alien” is regarded as one of the best science-fiction films of all time. A deadly extra-terrestrial being sets upon the crew of a space vehicle. The movie was critically acclaimed and also made solid profits at the box office. Its success spawned a whole franchise including various movie sequels, toys, and video games.
Thursday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this???
This movie is about a Australian concert pianist.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
For each of the following, find a word that may be appended to each of the three words in the group to form three new valid words.
For example, given: “friend, owner, dealer”, you would need to find the word “ship”, which, when appended to these words, results in the three new valid words: “friendship”, “ownership”, and “dealership” respectively.
- back, key, heat
- flag, soap, sand
- land, water, hall
- white, night, fools
Answer: 1. stroke – backstroke, keystroke, heatstroke
- stone – flagstone, soapstone, sandstone
- mark – landmark, watermark, hallmark
- cap – whitecap, nightcap, foolscap
Thursday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
David Van Gogh (pronounced “Go”) had many relatives. Can you guess by the clues who they are?
Example: His dizzy Aunt?
Answer: Verti-Gogh
How many other relatives can you guess?
A fruit loving cousin?
The Grandfather from Yugoslavia?
The cousin from Illinois?
His Mexican cousin?
His Great Grandfather who drove a stage coach?
The ballroom dancing aunt?
The bird lover Uncle?
A sister who loved disco?
And his niece who travels the country in a van?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 