WELCOME to TUESDAY JANUARY 21, 2025

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, frequently humorous.

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right–only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
    That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe,
    and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new scientific study shows rats are capable of laughter if they are tickled
the correct way. The rats were like, ‘Why aren’t you trying to cure cancer?'” -Seth Meyers

“In the U.K., they’re launching an official Quidditch League, with eight teams
competing across the country. It’s the first sports league where everyone
has an equal chance of being a loser.” -Conan O’Brien

“McDonald’s is unveiling something called a Nutella burger at its locations in Italy.
This goes against the traditional way of eating Nutella, which is with two
fingers in the dark while crying at 3 a.m.” -James Corden

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. The people who produce the bottles.
The truck drivers who deliver the beer and the retailers who sell it.
If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their
dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” 😳😳

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a classic blond showgirl.

Answer: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes!
In “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” Marilyn Monroe plays a showgirl, Lorelei Lee.
This song is also performed by Nicole Kidman in the movie, “Moulin Rouge!”

Tuesday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a movie villain who invades people’s nightmares!

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Evan, Lucy, Maria, Steve, and Will all played together in a local jazz band. At their last concert, they each had a solo. Match the musicians with their last name, instrument, and order they played.

First names: Evan, Lucy, Maria, Steve, Will
Last names: Earl, Lewis, Masters, Sacks, Wilson
Instruments: Alto Sax, Piano, Tenor Sax, Trombone, Trumpet

1) Maria’s solo was unique. She sang as she played.

2) Steve’s last name sounded like the instrument he played.

3) Mr. Wilson played his solo before the tenor sax player.

4) Will played his trumpet during the fifth solo.

5) Ms Earl, who didn’t play trombone, played her solo before Steve but after Ms Lewis.

6) The alto sax was featured in the first solo.

7) Lucy played a brass instrument.

ANSWER: Evan Wilson played the alto sax first.
Lucy Lewis played the trombone second.
Maria Earl played the piano third.
Steve Sacks played the tenor sax fourth.
Will Masters played the trumpet fifth.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
Sam the journalist has landed a job somewhere. The problem is, he doesn’t know where. All he knows is that it is in one of 6 cities lined up in a row in northern Canada: Eh Land, Hockeyville, Curling Town, Snowburg, New France, and Canada City. However his employer has left clues.

1. Curling Town is 2 cities away from the job’s location.
2. Hockeyville is 3 cities away from Snowburg.
3. Snowburg is on the right end.
4. New France is not the location.
5. Eh Land is 3 cities from Curling Town.
6. Canada City is 4 cities away from Snowburg.
7. Eh Land is next to the location and another place that isn’t the location.

Sam is lazy, so he is paying you to find out where he is working.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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