WELCOME to WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 5, 2025
Camping Tips
Q. What equipment will I need to go camping?
A. You need a tent. Tent sizes are measured in units of men, as in “a three-man tent”; this tells you how many men are required to erect the tent if they are all professional tent engineers. Even then, the tent will collapse under unusual weather conditions, such as nightfall. You will also need a hatchet, for the spiders, and a credit card, for the motel.
Q. Where should I go camping?
A. The United States has a spectacular national park system with millions of unspoiled acres where wildlife is protected by federal laws. Avoid these places. You want a commercial facility with a name like “The Stop ‘n’ Squat Kountry Kamp-ground,” where large animals cannot fit through the 6-inch gaps between the Winnebagos.
Q. How much food should I take?
A. A lot. You’ll be providing food not only for your family, but also for the entire raccoon community. When I was a boy in rural Armonk, our garbage cans were regularly terrorized by a gang of brilliant criminal raccoons. I recall being awakened at 3 a.m. by loud noises and looking out the window to see, by moonlight, my father, a peace-loving Presbyterian minister, charging around in the bushes, wildly swinging a baseball bat and saying non-Presbyterian words.
Of course, he did not get the raccoons; you NEVER get the raccoons.
Q. What if I get lost?
A. If you don’t have a compass, stand very still and listen very carefully, until you hear this sound: “eh-eh-eh.” That is Canada. Whatever you do, don’t go that way.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
In Jerusalem, renovation work is beginning on Jesus’s burial tomb.
It’s being listed as ‘occupied by previous
owner for only three days!'” -Conan O’Brien
“A man in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is suing the TSA claiming that
overly long airport security lines caused him to miss a flight. Seems
like a strange move until you realize there’s no jury in the world
that will side with the TSA.” -James Corden
“Since the UK officially voted to leave the European Union it caused
the British pound to hit a 31-year low. You could tell Brits were struggling.
Today King Charles was wearing one of those
cardboard crowns from Burger King.” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
One woman was talking to her friend, “You should listen to my neighbor,”
she says. “She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back.
I think that’s so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap;
but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?”😳😳
Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about 2 two slow-witted roommates who don’t live highly productive lives.
Answer: Dumb and Dumber!
“Dumb and Dumber” is a 1994 film starring Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels as Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne respectively, two slow-witted roommates who don’t live highly productive lives. Lloyd, a limousine chauffeur, drives Mary Swanson, played by Lauren Holly, to the airport. He becomes infatuated with her, and after he drops her off, he watches her from his car as she enters the airport. He then notices she sits her briefcase down and walks off without it. Thinking it was an accident, he rushes to collect it and give it back to her. Unable to find her, he takes the briefcase back home, and convinces Harry to go on a road trip across the country to find her and deliver the briefcase. The two have no idea that they are being hunted down by two criminals who had kidnapped Mary’s husband and were waiting for Mary to drop off the case, which is full of money. Their trip is full of adventure and down right hilarious oftentimes.
Wednesday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a high school state bowling champion with a lot of promise.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Yes! Five bands are coming to town within one week, and Georgia, Rachel, Jason, Carlos, and Lara are jumping for joy! Each one is a diehard fan of either Juanes, The Rolling Stones, U2, Green Day, or Coldplay. Figure out who likes which band, when each band performed, how long each concert was, and which souvenir each fan walked away with.
1) The 5 fans are Rachel, the Green Day fan, the Rolling Stones fan, the girl who spent 2 hours at a concert, and the one who left with a CD.
2) Georgia was so excited about Coldplay, she got in line at 6:00 Friday and waited 3 hours with all the other fans for the concert to begin. The concert ended at 11:00.
3) Lara’s U2 CD collection got a little bit bigger after the concert on Sunday.
4) Jason did not spend 3.5 hours in a concert. The concert on Saturday was not 4 hours long, and the concert on Wednesday did not sell sweatshirts (which were not bought by Rachel).
5) Tuesday’s concert was 2.5 hours long.
6) Green Day performed on Saturday, but Juanes did not perform on Wednesday.
7) The Rolling Stones fan bought the T-shirt.
8) Someone bought music videos after the 3-hour concert.
9) Lara was so hyper after the 3.5-hour concert, she couldn’t sleep.
10) Jason didn’t like any T-shirt designs, so he didn’t buy any.
ANSWER: Georgia-Coldplay-Friday-2 hours-Sweatshirt
Rachel-Juanes-Tuesday-2.5 hours-Photo
Jason-Green Day-Saturday-3 hours-Music Video
Carlos-Rolling Stones-Wednesday-4 hours-T-shirt
Lara-U2-Sunday-3.5 hours-CD
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Determine each person’s first and last name, the color of each package, what each contained, and what time it was delivered.
Clues:
- Michelle did not receive shoes and did not receive her package at 1:00 PM. Mr. Jones didn’t receive his package in the afternoon.
- The button up shirt did not come in a black or purple package. The shirt Michael received is not a sweatshirt. The purple package did not contain shoes.
- Mrs. Marks, who received her package at 3:00 PM, didn’t receive a light pink package, which was not delivered at 9:00 AM.
- Kevin’s last name isn’t Johnson and he didn’t receive his package at 4:00 PM. The high heels did not come in the hot pink package and were not delivered at 11:00 AM.
- The hot pink package was delivered two hours after the button up shirt and two hours before Kara received her package.
- The order of the appointments is the person who ordered the clogs, Ms. Green and her shirt, the owner whose last name is Smith, the person who received the red package, and Jason.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 