WELCOME to FRIDAY APRIL 18, 2025
Here’s The Story….
[Supposedly a true story, but who knows? Who keeps chloroform in the house?]
A woman who got it into her head that a fresh turkey produced a far superior meal to a frozen
one made a trek out to a turkey farm to buy a live bird. But after returning home and looking square
into the eyes of the living, breathing creature she’d just purchased, she just couldn’t bring herself to
kill it by wringing its neck or chopping off its head. Instead, she managed to put the turkey to sleep
with chloroform and then began the process of dry-plucking it. Just as she finished removing the last
of the feathers, however, the bird woke up.
The next-door neighbors responded to her shouts and arrived at her back door to find a woman being
chased around her kitchen by an angry, naked turkey. 😮😮
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this:
When you’re single you’re as happy as you are. When you’re married, you can
only be as happy as the least happy person in the house.” –Tom Hertz
My husband was waterskiing when he fell into the river. As the boat circled to pick
him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds.
My husband put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!”
The hunter responded, “Don’t quack.”
I’d never had surgery, and I was nervous. “This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure,”
the anesthesiologist reassured me. I started to feel better until he continued,
“Heck, you have a better chance of dying from the anesthesia than the surgery.”
CHECK OUT MY STORE FOR GREAT PRODUCTS: https://xgcspc-vw.myshopify.com/
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Here’s a killer turkey recipe, with a foolproof self-timer. It’s impossible to mess this up.
You’ll get a perfectly cooked turkey every time.
Preheat the oven to 325. Prepare the turkey, basting it with salt, garlic, butter, and black
pepper. In a bowl, combine equal parts stuffing mix and popcorn. (Yes, popcorn.)
Fill the turkey’s cavity with the mixture. Lay the turkey in a greased roasting pan.
Insert the turkey into the oven, with the neck pointing inward. This is very important.
Do not concern yourself with roasting time. When the turkey’s rear
end blows the oven door open, it’s done. 😮😮
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
What 1962 Robert Mitchum thriller did Robert DeNiro and Martin Scorsese remake in 1991?
Answer: Cape Fear!
Friday Movie Trivia of the day!
Which 1990’s movie is NOT about aliens seeking to kill humans?
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
After months of hard work, five scientists have eliminated the need for perfume by perfecting a procedure for creating scented jewelry! By altering the chemical composition of the metal, each scientist saturated a different piece of jewelry with a different scent. Upon completion of the items, the ingenious scientists brought them to the designers at Sentir Jewelers who set a different stone in each piece. From the information provided, determine the piece of jewelry each scientist had scented and the stone that was set within each piece.
Scientist: Dr. Phil, Dr. Ruth, Dr. Seuss, Dr. Spock, Dr. Zhivago
Piece of Jewelry: Bracelet, Brooch, Earrings, Necklace, Ring
Scent: Lavender, Musk, Patchouli, Rose, Sandalwood
Stone: Amethyst, Cat’s Eye, Garnet, Moonstone, Opal
- Neither the opal necklace nor the piece set with a moonstone is the patchouli-scented item (which wasn’t created by Dr. Ruth).
- Dr. Phil’s piece of jewelry is neither the lavender-scented one nor the rose-scented item.
- The amethyst (which wasn’t placed in the ring altered by Dr. Zhivago) wasn’t set in the pair of earrings Dr. Seuss altered.
- Dr. Spock is neither the scientist who worked on the brooch nor the one who fashioned the necklace.
- Dr. Seuss scented his jewelry with musk. A garnet was set in Dr. Ruth’s piece.
- The piece set with moonstone (which isn’t rose-scented) isn’t the pair of earrings.
ANSWER: Dr. Phil, necklace, sandalwood, opal
Dr. Ruth, brooch, rose, garnet
Dr. Seuss, earrings, musk, cat’s eye
Dr. Spock, bracelet, patchouli, amethyst
Dr. Zhivago, ring, lavender, moonstone
Friday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
A series of burglaries has plagued London. The famous private investigator, Sheerluck Holmes, is on the case. He has five suspects. As usual, Sheerluck has bungled again, and has lost his notes. Fortunately, he has memorized some of the clues. Help Sheerluck determine each man’s age, height, weight, and hair color. Also, help identify the culprit so that he can be put behind bars.
Men: Ben, Gus, Ron, Sam, Tim
Ages: 29, 32, 37, 42, 46
Weights: 166, 178, 190, 201, 216
Heights: 5’8″, 5’9″, 6’0″, 6’3″, 6’4″
Hair (descending order of darkness): black, brown, red, blonde … plus bald
1) The man who is 6’0″ tall is older than the man who weighs 178 pounds, who is older than Ben (one of these is the guilty man).
2) Ron weighs more than the brown-haired man, who weighs more than the man who is 32 years old.
3) Ben is taller than the blonde-haired man, who is taller than the man who weighs 166 pounds.
4) The man who is 32 years old has darker hair than the man who weighs 190 pounds, who has darker hair than Tim (one of these is the guilty man).
5) Each man has one measurement (age, weight, or height in inches) that is an odd number.
6) The youngest, the lightest, and the shortest … are three different men … and do not have red hair (the guilty man is not among them).
7) The oldest, the heaviest, and the tallest … are three different men … and do not have black hair (one of these is the guilty man).
8) Ben and Gus have a weight difference of 12 pounds.
9) Sam and Tim have a height difference of 3 inches.
10) Ron is not 4 years older or younger than any other man.
11) The guilty man does not have blonde hair.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 