WELCOME to MONDAY APRIL 28, 2025
“YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY…”
“Everything Comes In Threes” – Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern.
“You Can’t Take It With You (when you die)” – Well…, that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with you, you can probably put some things in your pockets.
“You Learn Something New Every Day” – Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you’ve just learned it, doesn’t mean it’s new. Other people already knew it, Columbus is a good example of this.
“You Get What You Pay For” – Clearly this is not true. Have you been shopping recently? Only a very naive person would believe that you get what you pay for. In point of fact, if you check your purchases carefully, you’ll find that you get whatever they feel like giving you. And if corporations get any more powerful, you soon might not even get that.
“NICE GUYS FINISH LAST” – Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish third in a field of six. Actually, short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can see how limited those people were.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A new survey found that 46 percent of doctors have used Google or Yahoo
to diagnose their patients’ symptoms. Yeah, last time I got sick, my doctor was
like, ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have ‘Server Not Responding.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Two women from Minnesota are seeking to file discrimination charges after the
police were called on them for breastfeeding at a public pool. Even worse, their kids
were charged with illegally bringing in an outside beverage.” -Seth Meyers 😆
“The company that makes Ritz crackers has recalled 16 products, including Ritz cheese
cracker sandwiches, over concerns of salmonella. There’s definitely a moment when you’re
feeling sick and you’re wondering, ‘Is this because I consumed salmonella or because I
consumed an entire box of Ritz cheese cracker sandwiches?'” -James Corden
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.
While one of the robbers takes the money from the tellers, the other
lines the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall,
and proceeds to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is going on lawyer number one jams something in lawyer
number two’s hand. Without looking down, lawyer number two whispers, “What is this?”
To which the first lawyer replies, “It’s that $50 I owe you.” 😮😮
Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
What tale from classic American literature did Tim Burton and
Johnny Depp bring to the screen in 1999?
Answer: Sleepy Hollow!
A very gory story based on Washington Irving’s tale with Christopher Walken as the mad Hessian. Poe’s ‘Pit and the Pendulum’ was remade in 1991. Robert DeNiro starred in ‘Frankenstein’ in 1994. ‘The Craft’ was a 1996 Hollywood story about witchcraft.
Monday Movie Trivia of the day!
Which movie features Dr Rendell as a mad killer?
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Jennifer and four of her friends are members of “Friends of The Bard”, a Shakespeare fan club. The last meeting of the year is tomorrow morning, and each member is coming dressed as her favorite character and will read a passage from her favorite play. Everyone signed up to bring refreshments. Unfortunately, Jennifer’s mischievous cat spread chocolate icing (from Jennifer’s refreshment) all over the sign up sheets and she can’t read it! Can you help her determine the full name of each member, their favorite characters, their favorite plays, and what refreshment they signed up to bring?
First names: Cheryl, Jennifer, Marilyn, Patty, Stacey
Last names: Carlson, Jameson, Malone, Pennington, Sullivan
Characters: Ariel, Kate, Mercutio, Ophelia, Puck
Plays: Hamlet, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Romeo and Juliet, The Taming of the Shrew, The Tempest
Refreshments: Brie, chips and dip, crackers, cupcakes, soda.
- No one’s first name begins with the same letter as their last name.
- No one is bringing a snack that begins with the same letter as their first or last name.
- The five members are Cheryl, Ms. Malone, the one who is bringing Brie, the one whose favorite character is Puck, and the one whose favorite play is The Tempest.
- Ms. Sullivan, who is not Marilyn (whose favorite play isn’t The Taming of the Shrew), once played Ophelia (who is not her favorite character) in her favorite play Hamlet.
- Cheryl’s favorite character reminds her of a certain red-haired mermaid.
- Ms. Jameson (who hates Romeo and Juliet) feels that she can relate to her favorite character Ophelia.
- The one who is bringing the chips and dip (who isn’t Marilyn) loves The Tempest.
- Patty loves the wit of Mercutio and can’t wait to read a monologue from Romeo and Juliet.
ANSWER: Jennifer, Sullivan, Puck, Hamlet, cupcakes
Cheryl, Pennington, Ariel, The Taming of the Shrew, soda
Patty, Malone, Mercutio, Romeo and Juliet, crackers
Marilyn, Carlson, Kate, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Brie
Stacey, Jameson, Ophelia, The Tempest, chips and dip
Monday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
The first lunar base was completed last year. One company, aptly named “Out Of This World Vacations”, offers tourists a week-long visit to the Moon. The cost of such a vacation is extremely high.
“It was awesome! Wait till I show you the Moon rocks I brought back,” Alex boasted as a crowd gathered around him on the school grounds.
“What’s going on here?” Kari whispered to the person beside her.
“Alex is telling us about his experience on the Moon.”
“I felt like an Olympian; I was able to jump more than a metre straight up!” The crowd was clearly impressed so Alex continued. “There are no clouds and no light pollution from big cities, so there was an amazing view of the stars. And while you were here, possibly watching the moonrise, I watched the earthrise – right from when it was just visible on the horizon until it was overhead.”
“Why should we believe you actually went there?” one sceptic asked.
“I knew there would be doubters, so I brought back a few Moon rocks. I collected these while on a moonwalk in the Sea of Tranquility. Hey, Jack, you collect rocks, this would be a stellar addition to your rock collection! I’m willing to sell you a rock for only…”
“I’ve heard quite enough,” Kari interrupted. “Jack, save your money for your own vacation.”
What had Kari heard that indicated the story wasn’t true?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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