WELCOME to THURSDAY MAY 15, 2025
Signs of the times……
SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
“We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.”
Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”
On a Septic Tank Truck:
“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”
At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for,
you’ve come to the right place.”
On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”
On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”
On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry;
come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A resort in Mexico has opened the first underwater bar. Shortly afterwards it
became host to the world’s slowest bar fight ever.” -Conan O’Brien
“Taco Bell announced it will begin selling a potato-rito, which is beef, cheese, potatoes,
and chipotle spice wrapped in a tortilla for $1. Or, for the same
nutritional value, just eat the dollar.” -Seth Meyers
“Vin Diesel is with us tonight. Vin is not his real name. His real name is
Vehicle Identification Number.” -Jimmy Kimmel
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher
quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you,
but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
Which actor played Larry Daley in “Night at the Museum” (2006) and “Night at
the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian” (2009)?
Answer: Ben Stiller!
In “Night at the Museum”, Larry Daley worked as a night watchman at American Museum of Natural History.
In its sequel, Ben Stiller reprized his role as Larry. Difficulty: Easy.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day!
“A mother. A daughter. Three possible fathers. Take a trip down the aisle you’ll never forget.” is the tagline for which 2008 musical movie?
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
I may run rings around you
Or escape your clutching grip
Or leave a treacherous trail
That gives a sudden slip.
(If you’re not careful!)
You always end up winning,
While I shrink with each new meet:
Our bouts will be my ruin,
But you’ll come out smelling sweet.
What am I?
ANSWER: A bar of soap.
Thursday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have the initial sounds switched to form new words. For example, “churning bear” is a spoonerism for “burning chair” (note that the pairs do not have to be spelled the same – only sound the same). From the definitions below, can you figure out the spoonerism pairs?
- Thumper’s cellphone…mis-named nerve.
- Where to buy a mallard…jammed portal.
- Grizzly relative…two pin-lovers.
- Sad iguana…Merlin slam-dunking.
- Wasp accelerates…Half a six-pack.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 