WELCOME to MONDAY MAY 19, 2025

Favorite Police Emergency Calls:

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I’ve never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn…I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn….
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the police. 😲😲

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“According to a new study, people who live near trees are richer, smarter, and healthier

• and people who live in trees make more cookies.” -Seth Meyers

“Wal-Mart is testing out an app that would allow shoppers to skip the checkout line.
Currently that service is known as shoplifting.” -Conan O’Brien

“Brace yourself, because Kraft has announced that they’ve gone natural. I first assumed that
natural meant they were doing their products in the buff. But they mean they have removed
all artificial preservatives, flavors, and dyes from their classic Mac and Cheese recipe. I don’t
get it. I was not aware, first of all, that a packet of orange dust was a technically a recipe.” -Stephen Colbert

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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department
staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply…
“Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by
age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics.” 😲😲

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
Who played a swashbuckling pirate in “Captain Blood” (1935) and “The Sea Hawk”(1940)?

Answer: Errol Flynn!
Flynn played the title role in “Captain Blood” and starred as Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe (loosely based on Sir Francis Drake) in “The Sea Hawk”. Michael Curtiz, director of “Casablanca” directed Flynn in both of these pirate flicks, as well as several other films.

Monday Movie Trivia of the day!
Which actor played Maximus Decimus Meridius in “Gladiator” (2000) and John Nash in “A Beautiful Mind” (2001)?

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
You are driving on a road when suddenly lightning strikes right in front of you. When you can see again,
there are three doors to the side of the car. One has 5 million dollars behind it, one has fame
(when you walk through it you will become famous instantly), and the last one has
your dream vacation place. Which door do you go through first?

ANSWER: The car door!

Monday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
“Uncle Jimmy, we’re studying Norse mythology and I keep forgetting some of the names, can you help?” Andrew asked.

“Certainly,” Jimmy replied, “let’s pick a few to start with: Odin, his wife Frigg, Thor, and Tyr. You really already know these names, or at least the Anglo-Saxon equivalent.
Woden is the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of Odin, the wise, one-eyed, chief god.
Frige is the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of Frigg, the goddess of clouds and sky.
Thunor is the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of Thor, the god of thunder.
Tiw is the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of Tyr, the god of war and battle.”

“Sorry, but those names don’t seem any more familiar,” Andrew protested.

“What if I told you those four names are related to the sun, the moon, and the planet Saturn?”

“What? That’s even more confusing.”

“Final clue, they are the basis of a naming system that we use every day.”

In what way are these names commonly used about which Andrew should be aware?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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