WELCOME to TUESDAY JULY 15th, 2025
Here’s The Story….
A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and
asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him.
Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says, “Say, we’re about evenly matched,
how about we play for five bucks a hole?”
The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn’t like to bet but agrees to the terms.
Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as they’re walking off of the eighteenth hole,
and while counting his $80.00, he confesses that he’s the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers.
The first fellow reveals that he’s the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second
fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back his money. The Priest says,
“No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings.”
The pro says, “Well, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”
The Priest says, “Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. Then, if you bring
your mother and father by after Mass, I’ll marry them for you.” 😲😲
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Tomorrow we will elect either Biff from ‘Back to the Future’ or one of the
robots from ‘Westworld.’ You will decide.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“This weekend, aides to Donald Trump have finally wrested away his Twitter account.
What?! You can’t take away Trump’s Twitter account! That’s like taking away
Batman’s utility belt! All you’re left with is a billionaire with anger issues.” -Stephen Colbert
“A new survey found that 46 percent of doctors have used Google or Yahoo to diagnose
their patients’ symptoms. Yeah, last time I got sick, my doctor was like, ‘I’m sorry to tell
you this, but you have ‘Server Not Responding.'” -Jimmy Fallon
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his future.
He gets into a Uber and the driver says, “How are you this fine day?”
“I’m the Class of 2020, just graduated from Harvard and I just can’t wait
to go out there and see what the world has in store for me.”
“Congratulations,” said the driver reaching back to shake the young man’s hand.
“I’m Mitch. Harvard Class of ’79.”
Monday*’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
The 1998 Steven Spielberg epic war film stars Tom Hanks and Matt Damon – the opening scene is on Omaha Beach in France during D-day when the Allied troops were attempting the largest land invasion to that point in war history. General Marshall orders that Private James Ryan be brought back home to the United States, as his three brothers have all been killed in action in the war.
Answer: Saving Private Ryan
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day!
The 1942 drama was both filmed and set in World War II and was directed by Michael Curtiz and starred Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman as Rick Blaine and Ilsa Lund respectively. Rick Blaine, an American, owns a tavern in Casablanca, Morocco that features varied clientele, including enemy Vichy French officers. The two stars play former lovers that reunite under difficult circumstances and their attempt to navigate their romance in the midst of the raging war.
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Jeff has five friends who have gone to different countries for a while to study the culture. He received a letter from each of his friends telling of the girls they found in these countries. Jeff lost the letters and forgot who found whom. Help him figure out which guy found which girl and each girl’s hobby, name, favorite food and in which country they were found.
Friends: Jerry, John, Mark, Luis, and Bill
Girls: Jennifer, Jessica, Marissa, Ashley, Brittany.
Countries: United States, Brazil, Norway, India, Denmark.
Hobbies: Playing the piano, Read, Cook, Clean, Shop.
Favorite Foods: Pizza, Lasagna, Lamb Chops, Steak, Shrimp.
- The five friends are: The one who found Jennifer, the one who found the girl that likes to eat pizza, John, the one who found the girl from Denmark [who likes lasagna], and the one who found the girl who loves to shop.
- The five girls are: The one found by Mark, the one who likes steak, the one who likes to play the piano, Ashley, and the girl found by John [who loves lamb chops].
- No guy found a girl who shared the same initial in their names.
- Part of Brazil is on the coast, there is a lot of seafood that is brought in. Jennifer lives close to the seafood market. She always secretly orders extra shrimp, her favorite.
- Unlike Jeff’s other friends, Luis didn’t leave the United States. This is how he found Jessica, the master shopper.
- Brittany came from a long line of musicians, her grandfather left her the piano she loves so dearly.
- Jennifer was very smart and creative. This came from her continuous reading.
- Although Ashley cooks, she doesn’t mind ordering the best food in the world, pizza.
- The girl from India loves to cook.
ANSWER: Jerry-Brittany-Denmark-Piano-Lasagna
John-Marissa-Norway-Clean-Lamb Chops
Mark-Jennifer-Brazil-Read-Shrimp
Luis-Jessica-United States-Shop-Steak
Bill-Ashley-India-Cook-Pizza
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Fill in the sentence below so that the first two words combine to make the third word. For example, given “The prime minister _ the meeting, even though the was technically the ___ official,” you would fill in RAN, KING, and RANKING.
If there is not enough light to , __ the lamp.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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