WELCOME to THURSDAY AUGUST 14th, 2025
THE MODERN TOOLBOX:
Hammer – In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on ones enemies.
Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
Screwdriver – The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a professional repairman
to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.
Phillips Screwdriver – The bar drink that you order when the damage estimate is over $1,000.
Contains twice the vodka.
Pliers – A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind
screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
Multi-Pliers – Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath
and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.
Electronic Stud Finder – An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.
Halogen Light – A worklight that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium,
causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you’re working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.
Cordless Drill – A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.
Cordless Telephone – The handyman’s 911.
Air Compressor – A mechanical device similar in principal to harnessing the power of your mother-in-laws
nagging complaints and using the resulting airflow to blast old paint off the side of the house.
Chainsaw – Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.
Vise Grips – A pair of helping hands that doesn’t critique the job you’re doing or offer advice.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose
more weight than women that don’t drink at all. At least, that’s what your wife will slur
to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that people under the age of 18
should be banned from tanning salons. Parents that take their kids to tanning salons
should be banned from parenting.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Chase bank ATMs are getting a new feature that will allow customers to withdraw cash
without using a card. The feature is called a ‘crowbar.'” -Conan O’Brien
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A businessman had a tiring day on the road. He checked into a hotel and, because
he was concerned that the dining room might close soon, left his luggage at
the front desk and went immediately to eat.
After a leisurely dinner, he reclaimed his luggage and realized that he had forgotten
his room number. He went back to the desk and told the clerk on duty, “My name
is Henry Davis, can you please tell me what room I am in?”
“Certainly,” said the clerk. “You’re in the lobby.” 😮😮
Wednesday*’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
This 1991 psychological horror film was directed by Jonathan Demme and is based on the novel by Thomas Harris about Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins), the jailed cannibalistic psychiatrist serial killer, and his aiding of the young FBI agent Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) in locating and apprehending a new serial killer dubbed “Buffalo Bill”. Hopkins won the Academy Award for Best Leading actor for his performance in this movie, despite appearing for only 17 minutes of screen time.
Answer: The Silence of the Lambs
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!
This 1995 biographical drama was directed by Oliver Stone and starred Anthony Hopkins as the titular US president with Joan Allen and Ed Harris in supporting roles. The movie centers around the Watergate scandal and Richard Nixon’s eventual resignation from office. While the movie was favorably reviewed, it is considered a box office bomb, recouping only $14m of its $44m budget.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Use the syllables in the sylalist to complete the clues below. Each clue gives how many syllables the answer of it has.
Can you complete every question?
Sylalist: com con dent e el el er fort junc man ment na nov o or or phant pi ro rus sat sau scor the tion urn
Clues:
- Sign of the zodiac (3)
- A Planet (2)
- A Mammal (3)
- Decoration (3)
- Mansion (2)
- Long Fiction (2)
- Rat, Squirrel, etc. (2)
- Quilted Bedcover (3)
- Book of Synonyms (3)
- and, but, for, so, etc. (3)
ANSWER: 1. Scorpio (scor pi o)
- Saturn (sat urn)
- Elephant (el e phant)
- Ornament (or na ment)
- Manor (man or)
- Novel (nov el)
- Rodent (ro dent)
- Comforter (com fort er)
- Thesaurus (the sau rus)
- Conjunction (con junc tion)
Thursday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Everyone knows and loves Disney Characters, so I have created a little challenge to test
your knowledge of the many characters created by the Disney Studios over the years.
Can you figure out the characters represented by each clue below? Good luck and have
fun reminiscing about all these memorable characters!
- To act really strange, silly and funny
- Smallest and farthest planet from the sun
- Rhymes with picky house
- Very short skirt + rhymes with house
- Name for a Mafia boss + not young + avoid being hit
- Opposite of light + the appendage of a bird used for flying + bird that goes “quack”
- Type of flower + rhymes with luck
- Tint or shade of a color + E + moisture found on grass in the morning + E + and + in _ of (also rhymes with clue) + E
- A round disc used as money in poker + and + canyon or lowland
- Obscene, indecent or lecherous (rhymes with crude) + synthetic hair worn by woman + Von + D + tool used to sweep leaves
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 