WELCOME to MONDAY AUGUST 18th, 2025
Best Bad Funny Puns
- Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side.
- What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback.
- What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
- Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside. - To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
- I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of
orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea. - A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from
the sky. The husband says, it’s reindeer. - Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
- Geology rocks, but Geography is where it’s at!
- What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the Moon?
I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere. - Can February March? No, but April May.
- Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
- I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
- Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
- My grandpa has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
- Why was Dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.
- A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage.
Sadly, he lost his case. - I lost my mood ring, and I don’t know how to feel about it!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“According to a list by ‘Business Insider,’ Washington University in St. Louis is the college
with the best food. While the college with the worst food is the Olive Garden’s culinary institute.” -Seth Meyers
“A family cleaning out their grandparents’ attic in Florida found a wooden box containing a
mummified pirate’s hand on a map with gold coins. A treasure chest full of gold pirate coins
may be cool, but do you know what I have in my attic? Family heirlooms and pictures of all
my loved ones – and isn’t that the real treasure? No, no it isn’t. The real treasure is a
treasure chest full of gold pirate coins.” -James Corden
“Pope Francis is now telling married couples to have children, because only having pets could
lead to anger or bitterness in old age. As opposed to having kids, which leads to anger
AND bitterness in old age.” -Jimmy Fallon
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Did you know you can find the sex of
an ant by putting it in water?
If it sinks: girl ant.
If it floats: boy ant.
Friday*’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
The 1997 Steven Spielberg movie follows the legal battles following the real tale of the “Amistad”, a ship that was overtaken by captured African slaves and docked in the United States. Anthony Hopkins plays John Quincy Adams, a then ex-US president who eventually represented the Africans in court and got them pardoned and release for the ship’s mutiny. The movie also stars Djimon Honsou, Morgan Freeman, and Matthew McConaughey.
Answer: Amistad!
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!
The 1994 Disney classic was directed by Roger Allers and Rob Minkoff and starred Jeremy Irons and Matthew Broderick. Partially inspired by “Hamlet”, Simba is a young lion cub who is tricked by his uncle Scar into believing that he led to the death of his father, the King Mufasa.
He is exiled from his home and has to grow up away from his family before eventually returning to face his uncle.
Friday’s Quizzler is….
A 3-letter-word has been taken out of each of the following words.
Can you figure it out?
RA_ _ G _ DER S _ G MU _ _Y
ANSWER: TIN.
RATING
TINDER
STING
MUTINY
TINGLE
Monday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Which of the following words does not belong in the list, and why?
Reappear
Caucasus
Inefficiencies
Signings
Arraigning
Horseshoer
Intestines
Appeases
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 